Yoo! I found a $100 bill, found a child who said they lost their $100 bill. Gave them $25.
When God gives you glory, you give it back.
Religion Jokes
You are so ugly, when the devil saw you, he said, "Jesus Christ!"
A priest says to me, "Come up, my child." Then I said, "Do I know you? Because you're not my father."
All you pro-life Christian motherfuckers can go die, lol.
Why do Roman Catholics have so many kids?
So there’s more for the priest.
What kind of book does cheese read at a church?
The Hole-y Bible.
You're so short that I had to ask God why he made you short-ass toothpick legs.
What's the difference between Jesus and a painting of him?
Well, it only takes one nail.
Yo mama so fat, she had to get baptized at SeaWorld!
A nun going down a water shoot? She never felt so wet in all her life!
Nun's worst holiday? Norfolk.
Nun's best holiday? Bangkok.
What place has more boys than the Catholic Church? Michael Jackson's bedroom.
Why did Michael Jackson like having little boys round him? He was studying for the priesthood.
It wasn't Islam that radicalized the terrorists who did 9/11.
Jenga comes to mind, though!
What was Jesus' reaction when the first black person was born?
"Holy shit, I burnt one."
Did you hear that Rushdie has a new book? It's titled "Buddha, that Fat Fuck."
What's the difference between a picture of Jesus and the real Jesus? It only takes 1 nail to hang the picture.
My gay ass: I want to find Jesus.
Religious mom: FINALLY!
Me: Grabs a noose.
Why do orphans go to church?
Because there they have a father.
Bruh, frog cult is besttttt!
