How does a disabled man go to church? He can't, there's no ramp.
Roses are red, violets are blue, God made me pretty, what happened to you?
The priest had a very holy shirt.
Why do nuns not wear bras?
God supports everything.
You've probably heard this one before, but screw it.
What's the difference between Jesus Christ and the kid I just killed?
Jesus Christ probably died a virgin.
I asked God why nobody likes me. He showed a reflection of myself.
A priest is struck by lightning and lays hurt on the ground.
When medical crew arrives he denies them, saying, "God will surely save me!"
The medical team tries to help him, but he keeps struggling and eventually dies.
Later in the afterlife, he screams at God, saying, "Why didn't you save me? Am I not dear to you?"
God answered, "B****, I sent you a f***ing ambulance and you denied it!"
So, a man goes to church and is dipped in water three times by a Priest as he says, "From now on your name is Michael, and you will shed your sins of gambling and alcohol."
Soon after, the man heads home and rushes to the fridge to grab a can of beer. He turns on the sink and dips the beer can in the water three times while saying, "From now on you will be known as Not Alcohol."
What if death is hell because there is no bridge to heaven?
Girl, you must be a Muslim because you are only 5 years old, yet you know how to give great head.
Girl, you must be a Muslim because you are da bomb.
I wanted to open a brothel in the monastery, but the slogan: "Fist some Christs" was, unfortunately, not so well received.
What do Jesus and a painting have in common?
They hang by nails.
The Christian, the Buddhist, and the Muslim each go on a separate plane.
The Christian's and the Buddhist's flight goes well, but the Muslim's plane has a problem and crashes into two towers.
If God didn’t mean for us to have sex with 11-year-old girls, why did he make them so sexy and so much physically weaker?
Why did the emo kid hate the nun? (Cuz nun of them were emo.)
You should know it's important to wash your sex toys. That's why priests invented baptism.
How do you kill a Hindu? PRESS THE RED BUTTON.
Why can't Jesus walk on water anymore?
Because he has holes in his feet.
Ctrl, Alt, Deletus, because of thine fetus.
