Relationship jokes
If I send a clown to deliver flowers to my wife...
...is that a romantic jester?
I like telling dad jokes.
He laughs at most of them.
My relatives always teased me during weddings, saying, "You'll be next!"
But they stopped when I did the same to them during funerals.
A guy walks to his friend's house. His friend asks, "Where is your girlfriend?"
The guy replies, "Meet me at the cemetery in a week, and you'll find out!"
Roses are red, pussies are wet, when it goes in he gets upset. She said it's too small, so that's all. But later that day, he wanted to say, "Every time I play, no one complains, so she was just lying." She started flying, went out of her seat, the skirt went up, the greatest of them all. Everyone said, "Fly away big chunky balls."
Roses are red, violets are blue, I have five fingers, and the middle one is for you.
Why couldn't the lizard get a girlfriend?
Because he had a reptile dysfunction!
I have a problem. My dad and my girlfriend have the same birthday. So, one took my virginity, and the other is my girlfriend.
A young man was crossing the road when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I will turn into a beautiful princess." The man took the frog, smiled at it, and put it in his wallet.
The frog called out again, "If you kiss me and I turn into a princess, I will live with you for a week and do everything you want." The young man took the frog out, smiled, and put it back.
Then the frog called out, "Okay, okay! I will be with you and do whatever you want forever!" The young man laughed and put it back in his wallet.
Finally, the frog asked, "What is wrong with you? I'm offering to be a beautiful princess! Why won't you kiss me?"
The young man said, "Listen, I'm an engineer. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog is pretty cool."
Before Marriage Boy: At last, I can hardly wait! Girl: Do you want me to leave? Boy: No, don't even think about it! Girl: Do you love me? Boy: Of course, always! Girl: Have you ever cheated on me? Boy: No, why are you asking? Girl: Will you kiss me? Boy: Every chance I get! Girl: Will you slap me? Boy: Hell nah, you crazy!! Girl: Can I trust you? Boy: Yeah girl! Girl: Oh Honeyyy😍
After Marriage Now, read that from the bottom to the top.
There was a boy named Sammy, and he was deeply in love with a girl named Rayne. But she didn’t notice him or talk to him. But one day, she did, and they end up liking each other and getting married and lived happil- wait no, that’s not right. Sammy snuck in Rayne’s house at night and kidnapped her, locked her in his basement, and turned her into a puppet so she'd be with him forever and ever. The End.
What do women, tornadoes, and hurricanes have in common? They all get the house.
What did Mario say when he broke up with Princess Peach?
It's not you, it's a-me, Mario!
Why can't an orphan be gay?
Because they have no one to call daddy.
Are you George Floyd?
'Cause baby, you take my breath away... OOF!
Yo mama is so stupid, because when she gave birth to you, she asked for a receipt!
A man was walking with a young boy in the woods.
The boy looks at the man and says, "Mister, it's too dark and I'm getting scared."
The man replies with, "How do you think I feel? I have to come back alone!"
My best friend ran away with my wife. I really miss him.
My German girlfriend likes to rate our sex between 1-10.
Last night we tried anal, she kept shouting "9"!
That’s the best I’ve done so far.
Incest is wincest. (That was above.)
Fun for the whole family!
Next of kin, count me in!