My ex-boyfriend's dick is so small that instead of giving him a handjob, I had to give him a thumb and forefinger job.
Relationship Jokes
I told my mom that I have a crush. She replied with: "So you like girls?" I said: "Uhm no no no." BUT I'm lesbian. Someone help, how do I tell her without her hitting me with a belt?
When Stephen Hawking was asked why he was instantly attracted to his new girlfriend, he said, "It's simple, she pushes all the right buttons."
A girl walks up to her friend with sunglasses she missed very much.
She told her, "Hey, long time no see."
More about Quinn: He loves Robin. He loves his tight ass. He licks up all his shit after Taco Bell.
Who is more loyal: a dog or a wife?
Well, lock them both in your trunk for two hours and drive around and see which one is happy to see you.
Yo mama so stupid that she farted on yo face for no reason.
Why was my mate in "Mission: Impossible?" Because he couldn't find his dad.
What's the difference between a screw and a hooker? You can't unscrew the hooker.
I want coffee like my men.
Dark.
You mom.
My sister said the onion is the only vegetable that can make you cry...
So I threw a carrot at her.
Why did the bee get married?
Because she found her honey.
What did Ron put in his diary?
I "Her-mio-ne" after I banged her last night.
I hate it when ever I bring a girl over, my parents don't care, but when I bring one of my friends that's a boy, they're like, "Keep the door open," and I'm gay.
There is a party in my mouth, and your dick is invited.
My grandfather tells me I'm too reliant on technology. I called him a hypocrite and unplugged his life support.
Q: What did the skeleton say when he proposed to his girlfriend?
A: Will you marrow me?
Sister: (moaning) Go get Mom, she'd love this!
Me: But Billy's with her right now.
Billy: UGHHHH...MMMMM
Dad: Hurry up Billy, I want to see you for a moment.
Rape isn't a joke.
It's a type of way of making friends and to mate with other women.
It's a way of art, and works on anybody!
Like this if you agree.
