Relationship jokes

I woke up to my daughter riding me in bed. I asked, "What are you doing?" She replied, "Making a Creampie."

My ex-wife still misses me, but her aim is getting better!

I asked my girlfriend what she wanted to eat, she said nothing. So I brought her to Africa.

Once upon a time, fraternal twins, brother and sister, with almost 100% equal DNA were separated at birth. At the age of 42, they were married, had 2 sons and 2 daughters. They took an ancestryDNA test, and the results were scientifically sexually shocking.

Quin loves Robin. All he says is "Robin." This isn't a joke; Quin's gay.

This site is darker than fingering your sister and finding your dad's wedding ring.

I have an auntie who has no arms and no legs. She is my dad's half sister.

How are guys and tile floors alike?

If you lay them right the first time you can walk all over them for years.

What is the worst thing your sibling can steal from you?

Your virginity.

There once was a boy named Sammy who loved this girl beyond belief. Her name was Rayne, but she didn’t notice him and or talk to him, but one day she did and they ended up liking each other and getting married and living happily... wait, no, that’s not right.

Sammy actually snuck into Rayne’s house one day and kidnapped her and locked her in his basement and made her into a puppet so he could keep her forever and ever. The End.

There is a party in my mouth, and your dick is invited.

Or is she asking her son, "Do you know Newton?"

The boy said, "No, I don't know."

She said to him, "If you had paid attention to your lessons, you would have known him!"

The boy said, "Ok, do you know Ikhlod?"

She said to him, "No, who is she?"

He said to her, "If you had paid attention to your husband, you would have known her."

The important thing is that the boy is currently a week with his uncles and a week with his turbans.

Gays: I like men.

Straights: I like women.

Russia: Hole is hole.

I called my boss the other Monday and told him I needed the day off because I was sick. He said, "How sick?"

I said, "Well, I'm in bed with my 12-year-old sister."

My ex-boyfriend's dick is so small that instead of giving him a handjob, I had to give him a thumb and forefinger job.

I told my mom that I have a crush. She replied with: "So you like girls?" I said: "Uhm no no no." BUT I'm lesbian. Someone help, how do I tell her without her hitting me with a belt?

When Stephen Hawking was asked why he was instantly attracted to his new girlfriend, he said, "It's simple, she pushes all the right buttons."

A girl walks up to her friend with sunglasses she missed very much.

She told her, "Hey, long time no see."

More about Quinn: He loves Robin. He loves his tight ass. He licks up all his shit after Taco Bell.

Who is more loyal: a dog or a wife?

Well, lock them both in your trunk for two hours and drive around and see which one is happy to see you.