Relationship jokes
Why is it that skinny men like fat women?
Because they need warmth in winter, and shade in summer.
Why did the blonde have sex with a Mexican?
Her teacher told her that she had to do an essay.
Why was the Orphan boy gay?
So he can call someone Daddy.
I used to date a girl with a lazy eye. Turns out she was seeing someone else the whole time.
Are you winter? Because you will be coming soon.
*The talk*
Why are friends good at dodgeball? Because no one misses them.
Women are like towers, the man wants to bang them both.
Do you mix concrete for a living? Because you’re making me hard.
Why do orphans hate Dom Toretto?
Because it's all about family!
My wife says sex is even better on holiday. I wish she didn’t tell me via email.
I want a relationship.
*Masturbates*
I don't want a relationship.
What is the difference between a woman and my fridge?
Only one moans when I put my meat in it.
My current love life is like a god. It’s not real.
Why do sisters have to be in a relationship? Because you don’t have to worry about your car.
My wife and I have reached the decision that we do not want children.
If anyone does, please comment your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.
A hot woman is ready to jump from a bridge and commit suicide when an ugly, stinky homeless man comes up to her and tells her, "Oh baby, you so hot, let's fuck!"
She just yells, "Get the fuck away, you creep!"
He just laughs and says, "Alright, I'll wait down there."
I watch my parents sleep with a knife in my hands. Only got caught once.
What do you call a picture of an orphan?
A family portrait.
Mommy, when will daddy come back?
I'm not your mom...
Why can’t orphans be gay?
Because they have no one to call daddy.