I want coffee like my men.
Dark.
You mom.
There is a party in my mouth, and your dick is invited.
Q: What did the skeleton say when he proposed to his girlfriend?
A: Will you marrow me?
Sister: (moaning) Go get Mom, she'd love this!
Me: But Billy's with her right now.
Billy: UGHHHH...MMMMM
Dad: Hurry up Billy, I want to see you for a moment.
My grandfather tells me I'm too reliant on technology. I called him a hypocrite and unplugged his life support.
What did the man say to the woman? "Make me a sandwich."
What do you do when you hear your wife squirming around in the back yard?
Reload... chhchhhh.
How did the Mexican girl get pregnant? Her teacher told her to do his essay.
Rape isn't a joke.
It's a type of way of making friends and to mate with other women.
It's a way of art, and works on anybody!
Like this if you agree.
Morbid jokes are just like girlfriends. Not everyone gets it.
You: Find a time clock that can change time.
Your friend the next day: Hey, can I borrow yo' house?
You: No, I'm trying to figure out what to do with my TIME!
Also you: Changes the time back to 1267 so you don't have to have that friend again.
Do you know why orphans can't get married? Because they will never get their parents' blessing.
Before Jane, was Tarzan clapping gorilla cheeks?
My short friend called me a scrub, even though he was the one below me.
Why did the electron leave the atom?
Because it had its ion someone else.
MOM: Honey, I'm pregnant.
DAD: Hi, Pregnant, I'm Dad.
MOM: No, you're not.
I remember my dad's last words: "I met your father."
Mom: Can I tell you a joke?
Kid: Sure.
Mom: Knock knock.
Kid: Who's there?
Mom: Not yo.
Kid: Not yo who?
Mom: Not yo father.
Kid: Not yo husband either.
My friend told me to make more friends, so I joined a suicide cult.
I’ll be hanging with them for a while.
