Relationship jokes
Roses are red. Violets are blue. If he's busy on Valentine's Day, the side chick is you.
Yo mama is so ugly I heard that your dad first met her at the pound.
Mom: Remember, you can tell me anything.
Abbie: I had sex with dad.
Mom: Go die in a hole!
How did Rihanna find out Chris Brown was cheating on her?
She found another woman’s lipstick on his knuckles.
A man walks into a bar and see's a naked lady, "WOOW SHES HOT!" HE picks her up and pee's on her and says, "Hi lady lets have sex."
Why don’t old people have sex?
When was the last time you tried pulling apart a grilled cheese that old?
A guy and a woman are walking into a forest. The woman says she is lonely. The guy then says, "Don't worry, there will be a third person in a little while."
You’ve got something on your face. Wait, no, it’s just missing something. My dick.
Roses are red, your mother has said, "Come back again, and you'll be dead!"
I went to my girlfriend's house one day in Alabama when I met her brother. He said, "Well, I guess there's no more you stuck in the dryer."
Treat me like a joke, and I will leave you like it's funny.
You know, you should adopt a pet. So then you can feel the pain that your parents felt when they adopted you... wait... also the regret after.
I hate it when a couple has a minor quarrel, and the girlfriend updates her Facebook status to ‘single.’
I mean, I fight with my parents all the time, but I never update my status to ‘orphan.’
Why doesn't Helen Keller's boyfriend like having sex with her?
'Cause she just lies there like she's dead.
Are you a volcano? Because you're hot and I really lava you!
Hello, I am Ren, sister of Gwen.
What’s the best thing about a blowjob?
The ten minutes of silence.
Who likes penis?
My cousin!
Bro, I saw two dudes kissing LOL, but not regular kissing.
I don't like marriage. It's just like soup, as soon as you're done spooning it, it all cools off.