Relationship jokes

When you meet your gf at the family reunion.

So, my girlfriend left me. I took her wheelchair, and she came back crawling.

When does a joke become a dad joke? When it leaves you and never comes back.

Why don’t you see gay orphans at a daycare?

They have no one to call "daddy."

What's the difference between my girlfriend and my uncle?

My girlfriend didn't go to jail for loving me.

A man found a chest full of gold, so he went to go tell his wife, only to remember why he was digging.

How to get a girl in three steps:

Step 1: grab a pillow.

Step 2: grab a blanket.

Step 3: keep dreaming.

I like telling dad jokes.

He laughs at most of them.

My relatives always teased me during weddings, saying, "You'll be next!"

But they stopped when I did the same to them during funerals.

A guy walks to his friend's house. His friend asks, "Where is your girlfriend?"

The guy replies, "Meet me at the cemetery in a week, and you'll find out!"

What made you suddenly lose interest in someone you were pursuing?

When I found out they liked me back. Not interested in someone with poor judgment.

What’s the best thing about dating an orphan?

You don’t need parental consent.

What's the difference between me and a rope?

A rope will hang with you.

Hey girl, are you suicide? 'Cause I think of you everyday.

I told her she needed to put her dog on a leash, and her boyfriend is still on a leash to this day. 😮‍💨

My father is like Houdini. When he heard his girlfriend was pregnant, he disappeared.

Hey girl, are you a drill sergeant, because you have my privates' attention.

If I send a clown to deliver flowers to my wife...

...is that a romantic jester?

Roses are red, pussies are wet, when it goes in he gets upset. She said it's too small, so that's all. But later that day, he wanted to say, "Every time I play, no one complains, so she was just lying." She started flying, went out of her seat, the skirt went up, the greatest of them all. Everyone said, "Fly away big chunky balls."

Roses are red, violets are blue, I have five fingers, and the middle one is for you.