Relationship jokes
Swiggity swooty, I'm coming for that booty!
Asking for a friend, could anyone please tell me how to politely ask a question for a friend?
Guys, my girlfriend calls me: "911, help! There’s a strange man in my room and I think he’s on drugs!"
She’s so nice.
Who thinks that Prince should just avoid Qwen and just continue the relationship?
I almost secretly married a watermelon, but I cantaloupe.
😮💨 KAREN
You see a boat filled with people, yet there isn’t a single person on board. How is that possible?
All of them are married!
I saw a news ad on TV about a dad coming home after getting milk. I said, "I've never seen that one before!"
My woman told me that she wants to have sex with me, and I said, "Let's go at it." She said, "Shut up and kiss me on all my pillows."
Why can't orphans be gay?
Because they don't have anyone to call "Daddy."
Just walked in on my parents doing it! Worst 30 minutes of my life.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
My I.
May I who?
May I put this pussy on your mouth?
My love for you is like poop.
Whenever I feel you, I have to run to the toilet and flush you away.
Doctor: I’m going to have to turn you away.
Orphan: But why?
Doctor: Because I’m a family doctor.
What’s worse than ants in your pants?
Uncles.
My girlfriend’s dog died, so I tried to cheer her up by getting her an identical one. But, unfortunately, it just made her more upset.
She screamed at me, “What am I supposed to do with two dead dogs?”
What do my wife and dinner have in common? They are both vegetables.
A brother and a sister always kept fighting. One day the brother said, "You're adopted!"
Then the sister replies, "At least they wanted me!"
The brother yells back, "Well, at first, when they didn't know you'd turn out like this."
Jack and Jill went up the hill to go and have some fun.
Silly Jill forgot the pill, and now they have a son.
What is the difference between you and an orphan?
Orphans have zero family.
A woman walks out of the bathroom, winks at her husband and says, “I shaved down there; you know what that means.”
The husband responds, “Yeah, the drain is clogged.”