Relationship jokes
Son: Hey dad, why is my name Canada?
Dad: Because you were made there.
Mum: We haven't been to Canada.
Dad: Hol' up a minute.
What did one volcano say to the other? I lava you.
I dated a girl, and I didn’t know she was previously in an abusive relationship.
I thought she just REALLY hated high-fives.
We say “Father, I have sinned,” because it would be weird if we said, “Daddy, I have sinned,” right?
“Forgive me, Daddy, for my transgressions!” We say the “Our Father,” not the “Our Daddy.”
Gays: I like men.
Straight: I like women.
Bisexual: A hole is a hole.
What does a baby computer call his father?
Data!
Why can't orphans do it?
They have no one to call "daddy."
What borders on stupidity?
Scotland and the EU.
My friend misspelled "Mexico" and got here.
He sucked his sister's poop hole.
What's the difference between my wife and her sisters?
Her sisters ate hotter, and I married the grenade.
Why can't orphans have sex? Because they have no one to call "daddy."
Knock, knock.
Who is there?
Your Nan.
WHAT? MY NAN IS DEAD!
Why do orphans like to be gay?
So they can call someone "daddy."
Your dad is gone.
Tesco's slogan is "Every little helps."
Well, their bag did a wonderful job on suffocating my wife.
Does it make me gay if I kiss your dad and he decides to drill my ass?
My girlfriend broke up with me, so I stole her wheelchair. Guess who came crawling back!
Are you still a virgin?
If you do IT
With no one?
Teacher: "Hey, James, this is the third time I asked you a question!"
James: "But you told me not to answer you back!"
My mom said she would miss me if I committed suicide, so we made it double.