Relationship jokes
I saw your mom at work the other night. She was talking about how good she was doing.
Hands down, best $20 blowjob ever.
Did you know that there is a new drug on the market for lesbians who are suffering from depression? It's called Trycoxagain.
My friend is gay lol. I'm a spagetie fucc, lemme smash, Becky!
Doc: Can I help you?
Girl: Doctor, I have pain in my heart.
Doc: When did it begin?
Girl: Right now (seeing him like a doll).
Doc: Hh...do you like me? I know I am handsome...
Girl: No, don’t get me wrong. You just look like someone I know.
Doc: Who is that? Is your boyfriend?
Girl: No, it’s my pet (rabbit), his name is Rokie.
What is love? Baby, don’t hurt me, don’t hurt me, no more!
My Smoothie Ingredients: - Bananas - Strawberry - The Blood of my ex - Peanut Butter
Driver's License-By- watersharky Music Productions and Olivia Rodrigo-
I got my driver's license last week Just like we always talked about 'Cause you were so excited for me To finally drive up to your house But today I drove through the suburbs Crying 'cause you weren't around And you're probably with that blonde girl Who always made me doubt She's so much older than me She's everything I'm insecure about Yeah, today I drove through the suburbs 'Cause how could I ever love someone else? And I know we weren't perfect but I've never felt this way for no one And I just can't imagine how you could be so okay now that I'm gone Guess you didn't mean what you wrote in that song about me 'Cause you said forever, now I drive alone past your street And all my friends are tired Of hearing how much I miss you, but I kinda feel sorry for them 'Cause they'll never know you the way that I do, yeah Today I drove through the suburbs And pictured I was driving home to you And I know we weren't perfect But I've never felt this way for no one, oh And I just can't imagine how you could be so okay, now that I'm gone I guess you didn't mean what you wrote in that song about me 'Cause you said forever, now I drive alone past your street Red lights, stop signs I still see your face in the white cars, front yards Can't drive past the places we used to go to 'Cause I still fuckin' love you, babe (ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh) Sidewalks we crossed I still hear your voice in the traffic, we're laughing Over all the noise God, I'm so blue, know we're through But I still fuckin' love you, babe (ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh) I know we weren't perfect but I've never felt this way for no one And I just can't imagine how you could be so okay, now that I'm gone 'Cause you didn't mean what you wrote in that song about me 'Cause you said forever, now I drive alone past your street Yeah, you said forever, now I drive alone past your street...
What present can a pimp always buy his hoes to both show how much he thinks of them and know they can never get enough of?
Condoms!
I like my women like my family, they’re related.
My friend says, "You should try Oreos with water."
Me: No, because my dad actually came back with the milf.
What do the Twin Towers and my ex have in common?
They both fell on my dad.
My mom said she would miss me if I committed suicide, so we made it double.
What does one gay guy say to his boyfriend before he leaves for a vacation?
"Need help packing your shit?"
Chase cheated on Charlie with Addison Rae.
One day I saw my friend in a hospital bed. He told me to call 911. Instead, I called his parents.
Jack and Jill went up the hill 'cause Jack took a Viagra.
Jill was drunk, fell to her knee, Jack had his chance, did Jill till 3.
Husband: Hey, my dear, this lunch is great. Where did you find the recipe?
Wife: In a detective novel.
"Can we do 69?"
"How about we do 9/11 since we will crash together?"
Family is precious, so you have to keep them away from the sunlight.
What do you do when your man doesn't like fruit jokes?
Let the mango.