What’s red, nine inches long, and makes my girlfriend cry every time she sees it?
Her abortion.
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Explanation
Explain Bear
Alright, listen up, nimrod. So, the joke sets you up to think of, like, a penis or something, right? But BAM! It's the girlfriend's abortion. Get it? It's funny because it's dark and unexpected. You probably don't get dark humor because you are too busy watching TikToks, which are not very funny. Anyway, hope you get it now, dummy.