Relationship jokes
Bf: Babe, do you love me?
Gf: Of course, why do you ask?
Bf: I heard that your mom passed away, and I went to pick some roses for you to try to cheer you up, and then I remembered why I went to the garden.
My mom told me that she and the owner of a Chinese restaurant made a deal. Now we get free Chinese food. So I ask my mom why do we get free Chinese food? Then my mom said, "I love him long time."
Jack and Jill went up the hill to have a little fun.
Jack got mad and kicked Jill in the ass because she couldn't make him cum.
Girlfriend: Babe, what do you think of our love?
Me: Look at the stars in the sky.
Girlfriend: Aww... it’s infinity, right?
Me: No, it’s a waste of time.
Girlfriend: I’m breaking up with you.
Me: Whatever, when I take out the trash, I think of you.
Three guys are standing in an alley on an alien planet, and the psycho one says, "However many tits your girl has is how many balls you have!"
The first guy says, "Ha! My girlfriend has six! I'm racked up!" The second guy said, "Eh, I am happy with two balls." The third guy said, "Shit! My girlfriend is flat as fuck!"
A guy listening in enters and says, "Bro, you actually have girlfriends. I do not. Does that mean I have a pussy?"
Throw the bed sheet or better yet, throw the entire bed out
My phone battery lasts longer than your relationships.
My mum.
What did the maxi pad say to the fart? "You are the wind beneath my wings."
My wife and I have been married over 30 years, but don’t get me wrong, we still perform tricks in the bedroom.
I sit up and beg, she rolls over and plays dead.
Prince will be coming back in 10 mins here is a joke.
Gwen: Prince sorry but I'm wanting someone else instead. You've just been a complete jackass toward me, sorry good night.
Prince: Please!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Gwen: Good night!
Prince: Why?
Gwen: Because...now good night!
Prince: We can work some things out?
Gwen: Nope...NOW GOOD NIGHT!!!!!!!!
To be continued
My girl walks in the room in nude mode and sat on my dick. I said, "What up, your pussy?" She said, "Your dick."
The boyfriend says to the explosive dude: "You're the bomb!" The explosive dude says: "Wow, that was Whitty."
Why does Lincoln like Ronnie Anne?
She is the only one that calls me "lamo."
Why wouldn’t Mr. Bee 🐝 push Ms. Bee 🐝 away?
Because he loves his honey.
Women treat me like a god.
They ignore me till they need something.
Why did Morgan’s dad leave her?
She kept making dad jokes.
From the wise words of my friend, "You ain't a man 'til you had a man."
I love my family when they're buried alive.
Mickey Mouse went to a psychologist and told him, “I’m having problems with my girlfriend.”
The psychologist said, “You mentioned that you think she is crazy.”
He said, “I didn’t say she was crazy, I said she’s fucking Goofy!”
I saw my wife at the dam yesterday. Drat. I was hoping she might float a bit more downstream.