Relationship jokes
How can you tell that a blonde likes you? She only gives three fucking nights in a row.
Me and the boys are cool.
Why did the orphan cross the road?
To find their way to the store to see their dad.
My therapist told me time heals wounds, so I stabbed him, and now we wait.
Wife: “I want another baby.”
Husband: “That’s a relief, I also really don’t like this one!”
Memes
How do you recycle a condom? Turn it inside out and shake the f *ck out of it!
Why do shows have a family? Because they are "Pair-rents"!
Doctor: I’m going to have to turn you away.
Orphan: But why?
Doctor: Because I’m a family doctor.
Gwen, let's chat at night for about 1 hour! I want to get to know each other better!
P.S., it's Jake.
Amelia is hotter than my mum 696969696.
A man and a child walk into a forest.
The kid says, "Um, sir, it's getting dark, and I'm getting kinda scared."
The man says, "Yeah, well, think how I feel. I have to walk back out alone."
A wife and husband go to a barn. The husband picks up a goat and says, “Look at this pig I have to sleep with every night.”
The wife says, “Honey, that’s a goat.”
The husband replies with, “I was talking to the goat.”
What do you call it when an orphan takes a picture?
A family portrait/A selfie.
Girl: "When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles, and lighten your burden."
Boy: "It's very kind of you, darling, but I don't have any worries or troubles."
Girl: "Well, that's because we aren't married yet!"
What do people have a shot at when it comes to love? Shooting them in the heart.
Your uncle Jack is stuck on a horse.
Would you help your uncle "Jack" off the horse?
freshfry, we need to talk now...
Neona (😞): Are you mad at me?
Gwen (😌): Me? NEVER! Sometimes we listen and don't listen, let's just hug it out!
Neona (😁): Agreed!
Sometimes I look at someone I hate and think, "I hope you get laid tonight."
By a tweaker with AIDS.
Dad: Boy, come sit in this hole while I brace the ground.
Boy: I don't want to see Grandpa, he scares me!