Relationship jokes

Yo papa's wife is so dumb and fat that we had to use yo papa.

Why is the older brother's kid brother that has autism always performing fellatio on his older brother?

Because he wants to find out how many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop.

What's a lesbian's favorite weapon?

A finger-gun👉👌

I love sucking on food because if you really think about it, tits can be counted as food, so I could technically suck on a woman's tits.

How did a man know his wife died?

Dishis start piling up.

When I get jokes. They aren't f****** restarted like you.

My sister.

I find it interesting that if you rearrange the letters in the word “Mother-in-law” you get the words “Woman Hitler”.

Your girlfriend/boyfriend says: "I'm dating your uncle..." You start crying and you look under the bed and your uncle says: "Damn."

My gf/bf said: "I'm dating your uncle!" You cry and you look under your bed and your uncle says: "Damn."

Kid: Which were me, are your parents?

Orphan: What are parents?

Me when people ask how old my girlfriends are:

"There's 2, there're 4, there're 6, there're 8."

Girls: Boys are like games, they're meant to get played.

Boys: Girls are like stones, the flat ones get skipped.

What’s the difference between milk and the air?

At least the air will always be there for me.

I was walking with my black best friend, and he was meeting my parents, and after I got there, they said, "Who's this?" I said, "Well, I own him."

You know you have weird Indian parents when you can hear them canilingus each other.

Sometimes I look at someone I hate and think, "I hope you get laid tonight."

By a tweaker with AIDS.

Why can orphans not get married?

They are dad can't walk them down the aisle!

When an orphan takes a family photo, it’s called a selfie.

Boyfriend: "Babe, are you traffic police?"

Girlfriend: "No."

Boyfriend: "Then why do you shout at me for not wearing a helmet?"

Some guy came to me and said, "I'm your dad's friend. He asked me to pick you up."

*Laughing freaking hard* and told him, "Did you dig the grave?"