Relationship jokes
Peter: *curses* Sam: Wow, do you kiss your mother with that mouth? Peter: Ha, joke’s on you! I don’t have a mother.
Tony, having a heart attack: ASFJDHJWNSGREGEJDHFWVWHUSYSG PETER, WE TALKED ABOUT THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!
Why do orphans cry alone?
They do not have a mom's lap to sit on and a shoulder to cry on.
When I see two lovers' names on a tree, I don’t find it cute or funny. I think, why would they be bringing a knife on a date?
When you realize your friend standing next to you is adopted and narrates everything he does.
If a woman says she needs to set boundaries between you and her, you would be crossing it if you are a Mexican.
Memes
Why are all lesbians bad at math?
Because they can't multiply.
Random person: "What's one thing your ex gave you that you can't get rid of?"
Man: *Shows a picture of his child.*
"Your mother has been with us for 20 years," said John. "Isn’t it time she got a place of her own?"
"My mother?" replied Helen. "I thought she was your mother."
At a party, a young wife admonished her husband, "That's the fourth time you've gone back for ice cream and cake. Doesn't it embarrass you?"
"Why should it?" answered her spouse. "I keep telling them it's for you."
For some reason, my mom likes to lick and suck on hotdogs. As a son, can anyone tell me why?
An emo kid and a silent kid would be a good acquaintance because the emo would wish to die, and the silent kid would be the nice guy and grant that wish.
Kylin fucks his sister.
Kylin likes to eat Violet's ass.
Who's in my ass?
Your sister.
Before you leave that marriage, remember that one innocent 🐐 goat was killed for your traditional marriage. 😔
Why are uncles like curries?
Because bad ones hurt your asshole.
Why can't orphans be gay?
'Cause they have no one to call "daddy."
What do you do when your man doesn't like fruit jokes?
Let the mango.
Depresso Exspresso let's be friends, please.
Why did the hedgehog cross the road?
To see his flat-mate.