How do you recycle a condom? Turn it inside out and shake the f *ck out of it!
Relationship Jokes
If I fuck you harder, you have to scream "daddy," but what happens when you cum?
Hey Gwen, how are you? I'm a girl, btw...;)
What's the difference between you and my dad? You come home.
Hey selfish king, I see you need a girlfriend ;)
When you tell your mom that she is bad at jokes, then she tells you, "Well, I made you!"
Why do shows have a family? Because they are "Pair-rents"!
Want a kiss, daddy? Want a blow job?
Ur adopted.
Dad: Boy, come sit in this hole while I brace the ground.
Boy: I don't want to see Grandpa, he scares me!
A man and a child walk into a forest.
The kid says, "Um, sir, it's getting dark, and I'm getting kinda scared."
The man says, "Yeah, well, think how I feel. I have to walk back out alone."
Amelia is hotter than my mum 696969696.
A wife and husband go to a barn. The husband picks up a goat and says, “Look at this pig I have to sleep with every night.”
The wife says, “Honey, that’s a goat.”
The husband replies with, “I was talking to the goat.”
Why did the orphan cross the road?
To find their way to the store to see their dad.
My therapist told me time heals wounds, so I stabbed him, and now we wait.
What does an orphan call a family photo?
A selfie.
Doctor: I’m going to have to turn you away.
Orphan: But why?
Doctor: Because I’m a family doctor.
The other day my girlfriend asked me to hand her the red lipstick, so I handed her the dog.
What's the most confusing day of the year for an illegitimate kid?
Father's Day.
What’s the difference between 69 and a family reunion?
You only see one asshole in 69.
