Relationship jokes
Unbelievable! When doctors touch my body, it’s alright, but if I do the same to some lady, apparently it’s "harassment!"
"When someone asks for a dad joke and you send them to the orphan page."
I don't need a girlfriend, 'cause I got my cousin, bro.
Why can't orphans be gay?
Because they don't have anyone to call "Daddy."
Doctor: You should stop masturbating.
Me: Doc, I'm almost done.
Memes
GF be like...
Mom: Let's have an adoption party!
Kid: *cries*
Mom: What's wrong?
Kid: I'M ADOPTED????
Are there support groups for men?
Son: Dad, if I told you I was gay, would you still love me?
Dad: Don’t be silly son, you were an accident. I never loved you in the first place.
Who needs Singles Day when you're single for the rest of your life!
Some guy asked me, "Are you better than my meat?" I said, "No, I'm not better, I just beat it all the time."
What does an orphan call a family picture?
"A selfie."
Women are like blackjack. I’m trying for 21, but I always hit on 9.
What company do orphans hate the most?
S. C. Johnson, a family company.
Why can't orphans be gay?
Because they don't have anyone to call "daddy."
I got a sister.
That was a big mistake.
I caught my wife this morning gazing at our marriage license of long ago that hangs upon our wall with tears in her eye!
Almost got teary eyed myself until she told me she was only looking for the expiration date!
I'm sorry, but your dad left for milk.
Why can't an orphan be gay?
They don't have anyone to call "daddy."
At least someone who is gay/Carter has someone.
Are you a rope? Because I want to hang sometimes.