Relationship jokes
My sister's boyfriend is mad because I fucked his girl.
Gwen, just take Tj as your boyfriend. Gah, just do it so he won't kill himself! Prince will be fine without you!
I accidentally handed my wife a glue stick instead of a chapstick. She still isn't talking to me.
What do you get when you combine a priest and lawyer? A Father-in-law.
Person 1: Yassin has sex with a piece of sex.
Person 2: Nice, can I have some of your balls?
Okay, boys are known to measure their dicks, but do girls measure their depths?
My wife is a whore, so I pimped her out and broke her mentally and emotionally, taught her a good lesson of being a real woman loyal to her man. End of story, you women are bitches.
Why is it that when Donald Trump and Melania make love, she is always on top?
Donald Trump can only F@#k up.
It was my cousin's birthday and my mom said what should we get her? I said a rope.
When my friend says I suck at something, I'm like, "U swallow."
If you have a girlfriend/crush that's shorter than you, go up to her and say, "You're short, lemme add some inches."
I was having sex with my girl, and she said she likes it rough, so I socked her in the face.
Your hairline and my grandpa go way back.
What's the difference between my girlfriend and my uncle?
My girlfriend didn't go to jail for loving me.
What do a girl and a bar have in common?
A- Liquor in the front, poker in the back!
Michael Jackson, who's terrified of adult women, once had a girlfriend, but broke it off with her. When she asked him why, he said, "It's not you, it's me-hee-hee."
Husband: "I think I might take a picture of your breasts and frame it."
Wife: "I think I'll take a picture of your penis and enlarge it."
The highest praise my wife gave to me was when she told me, "The best feminine attribute on your body as a woman would be your p🍆nis." 🥰
Daddy, I really miss you. Mummy changed my name to Tickle Timpson. Anyway, daddy I forgive you for abusing me.
Guy: Hi, how was your day today?
Woman: Good!
Guy: *Well I can’t ask her out cause she’s pregnant*
Guy: How many months pregnant are you?
Woman: What to you mean?!?! Also, I’m not pregnant.