Relationship jokes

For some reason, my mom likes to lick and suck on hotdogs. As a son, can anyone tell me why?

I photo bombed someone's selfie, and then they yelled, "Why would you do that? I was trying to take a family photo!"

"(My beard actually connects.)" "Like the connection you never had with your father."

My wife is so fat.

She asked me to get on top; I had to get a step ladder. When I got up there, my ears popped, and the air was so thin. I had to have two Sherpas drag me off the mountain.

Before you leave that marriage, remember that one innocent 🐐 goat was killed for your traditional marriage. 😔

Why can't orphans be gay?

'Cause they have no one to call "daddy."

What do you do when your man doesn't like fruit jokes?

Let the mango.

An emo kid and a silent kid would be a good acquaintance because the emo would wish to die, and the silent kid would be the nice guy and grant that wish.

Depresso Exspresso let's be friends, please.

Why did the hedgehog cross the road?

To see his flat-mate.

I masturbated by accident. I read the wrong thing And tested its factuality.

Well, it's been some good years now, haven't they? Being your own partner has never felt so together.

Peter: *curses* Sam: Wow, do you kiss your mother with that mouth? Peter: Ha, joke’s on you! I don’t have a mother.

Tony, having a heart attack: ASFJDHJWNSGREGEJDHFWVWHUSYSG PETER, WE TALKED ABOUT THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!

Why do orphans cry alone?

They do not have a mom's lap to sit on and a shoulder to cry on.

When I see two lovers' names on a tree, I don’t find it cute or funny. I think, why would they be bringing a knife on a date?

Kylin fucks his sister.

Kylin likes to eat Violet's ass.

"Your mother has been with us for 20 years," said John. "Isn’t it time she got a place of her own?"

"My mother?" replied Helen. "I thought she was your mother."

Why can orphans not get married?

They are dad can't walk them down the aisle!

I named my dog Stone so that I can say to people that I throw stones every day.

I just did a test to see who my soulmate is, and it said "best friend." So I guess I am gay. I think so, WTF.