Relationship jokes

Kylin likes to eat Violet's ass.

Hailey: "Hey Brayden!"

Brayden: "Hey!"

*Music roles around*

*I tell Brayden Hailey likes him*

Brayden: "O_O"

Hailey: *Hides*

So sad </3 xD

I was in class and we had to choose another term for words we use everyday. For kid, I chose "child"; for dog, I chose "pet"; and for wife, I chose "dishwasher."

My girlfriend is growing watermelons, not in the ground though (we had fun that night)!

Why can't orphans be gay? They got no one to call "daddy."

Why don't orphans understand dad jokes?

I am Mario's brother.

I got $1,000,000 for my brother. Best trade I ever made!

"Love is a good thing, never be embarrassed by it."

You know, the strangest things happen. My mom said, "Step on a crack, you break your mama's back, but if you step on a line, you break your father's spine." I stepped on the line. It didn't break his spine. Mom, who is my father?

I got in trouble in school today. The teacher said, "I'm gonna call your parents!"

I said, "Let me know when you find them." <3

You and your sister always get into a fight and she says, "I don't care." Then you say right away, "About you!"

My ex was an orphan as a child.

I should have taken that as the first sign.

If her parents didn’t want her, why would I?

What is the other word for an orphan?

Paren't.

Why do orphans play tennis?

So they can finally get love.

You have to be a good mom to be a MILF.

Last night I shared a bed with two of my friends because we were in a small hotel. We had strange dreams last night.

My friend on the left dreamed of getting a handjob.

So did my friend on the right.

I had a dream of skiing.

I look at an orphanage, then hug my mum. He just looks sad and crude because he couldn’t find his mum.

Your sister is so stupid, she only thinks an onion will make people cry.

So I threw a coconut at her.

I told my wife to embrace her mistakes.

So she gave me a hug.