Relationship jokes
My family.
The QUEEN is JACK! KING off the JOKER!
I know what you're thinking, pervert. Actually, the joke's about a jester in drag. OK, I’m joking, the Queen cheated on the King with the Jester.
Ur mom gay.
I like my dynamite like I like my woman: hot and ready to explode.
How did the skeleton win the girl? He was humerus.
GF be like...
I was just informed that my ex was stabbed yesterday. Let's just say I quit my job as a butcher.
Your dad must be a mailman.
Knock knock, Who's there? Dad. You came back?
Yeah, she called me "Pledge" because I knocked the dust off it.
I hate my stupid wrinkly ring doing f, dad!
What's the difference between a boomerang and my dad?
The boomerang comes back.
If you text your crush and they leave you on read, just know that "read" has four letters. You know what also has four letters? "Mine." So that basically means that you are theirs. :)
Me: Breathe right now if you wanna date me.
Roses are red. Violets are blue. Your wife needs Jon Grudon, too.
Dating in your 30s is like looking for a parking spot...
The good ones are all taken. The rest are either handicapped or too far away.
How do you make your girlfriend scream during sex?
Call and tell her about it.
My husband and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children.
If anybody does, please just send me your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.
In a lesbian relationship, which feminazi cooks?
None, both carpet munchers eat out.
My girlfriend told me she’s sad because she’s put on a bit of weight.
I told her to keep her chins up.
What's the difference between friends and family?
One is actually real.