Relationship jokes
How did a man know his wife died?
Dishis start piling up.
When I get jokes. They aren't f****** restarted like you.
My sister.
My girlfriend told me she’s sad because she’s put on a bit of weight.
I told her to keep her chins up.
What's the difference between friends and family?
One is actually real.
I find it interesting that if you rearrange the letters in the word “Mother-in-law” you get the words “Woman Hitler”.
GF be like...
Yo papa's wife is so dumb and fat that we had to use yo papa.
Why did the orphan girl cry during sex?
Because her boyfriend said "Who's your daddy?"
BAJAHAHAHHAA
My friend looks more red than Mr. Krabs.
It’s weird, I could’ve sworn I saw the silhouette of a belt hurling towards him the other day.
Dad: Hey, uh... you're adopted.
Dog: *frown*
Girl: Come over.
Orphan: I can’t.
Girl: My parents aren’t home.
Orphan: Oh, cool, something we have in common.
Why is there only a glory hole in the handicapped stall in some public men's restrooms?
Because a gay man that is not physically handicapped can't receive a blow job from a gay man that is physically handicapped under the handicapped stall.
Your mum is so fat, all her relationships are long distance.
One man's trash is another man's treasure, he said when he found out his parents split up and he is being adopted.
Your eyebrows are far from home just like your dad.
A proud father has six children. He always calls his wife "mother of six" to her displeasure.
One night at a party, he yells across the room, "Mom of six, we're going now." She replies: "I'll be right there, father of four."
My girlfriend dumped me, so I stole her wheelchair.
Guess who came crawling back? Sadly, the hardest part to eat of the vegetable is the wheelchair.
What’s the best part of fucking Noor’s vulva (btw Noor is black)? If my dick is right beside Mara’s vulva (btw Mara’s white and so am I).
Wife, I look fat, can you compliment me?
Blind husband says, "You have perfect eyesight!"
What’s 9 inches long and makes my girlfriend scream?
One inch and put it in her. Her miscarriage.
Woman: I want a man who is 6 feet and 6 inches.
Man: Is 6 feet and 6 inches one thing or two?
Woman: Two, I want a man who is 6 feet and also is 6 inches.
Man: Shit!