Relationship jokes
Jacob likes fucking me and my mom.
Your dad went to get the milk, but he was actually trying to find his father. He wasn't there.
How do you know if your sister's on her period?
Your dad's dick tastes funny.
What's worse than fingering your sister?
Finding your dad's wedding ring inside her.
Women are like blackjack. I’m trying for 21, but I always hit on 9.
I don't need a girlfriend, 'cause I got my cousin, bro.
GF be like...
What company do orphans hate the most?
S. C. Johnson, a family company.
Doctor: You should stop masturbating.
Me: Doc, I'm almost done.
Unbelievable! When doctors touch my body, it’s alright, but if I do the same to some lady, apparently it’s "harassment!"
"When someone asks for a dad joke and you send them to the orphan page."
Roses are red. Violets are blue. My dad is gone to...
"Hi, I’m Dan White’s dad. Where is he?"
I caught my wife this morning gazing at our marriage license of long ago that hangs upon our wall with tears in her eye!
Almost got teary eyed myself until she told me she was only looking for the expiration date!
I'm sorry, but your dad left for milk.
Why can't an orphan be gay?
They don't have anyone to call "daddy."
So I went to my friend's house and he told me to make myself at home, so I kicked him out. I don't like visitors.
Who needs Singles Day when you're single for the rest of your life!
Some guy asked me, "Are you better than my meat?" I said, "No, I'm not better, I just beat it all the time."
What does an orphan call a family picture?
"A selfie."
Q: What is Chris Brown's #1 Hit? A: Rihanna
Knock knock.
You: Who's there?
Urmom.