Relationship jokes
Have you watched the show "Naked and Afraid"? Well, I play it every Saturday with my uncle.
I got a sister.
That was a big mistake.
I'm sorry, but your dad left for milk.
Me and my friend roasting each other.
Him: Your dad dropped you on purpose, but my dad dropped me by accident.
Me: But after dropping you, he never picked you up.
Why can't an orphan be friends with Dom Toretto?
Dom doesn't have friends; he has "family."
Unbelievable! When doctors touch my body, it’s alright, but if I do the same to some lady, apparently it’s "harassment!"
"Hi, I’m Dan White’s dad. Where is he?"
"When someone asks for a dad joke and you send them to the orphan page."
Roses are red. Violets are blue. My dad is gone to...
Why can't orphans be gay?
Because they don't have anyone to call "daddy."
If an orphan takes a selfie, it is a family photo.
Do you know why boys can't ask girls out? Because they don't have any balls to ask girls out!
I caught my wife cheating on me.
I beat my son and grounded him.
I'd tell you a joke about my boyfriend's dick, but it's a private joke.
I just did a test to see who my soulmate is, and it said "best friend." So I guess I am gay. I think so, WTF.
How can you tell that a blonde likes you? She only gives three fucking nights in a row.
Me: *watching TV*
Mom: Omg, no way, your dad is coming!
Me: Really?
Mom: Obviously not, he never loved or wanted you.
freshfry, we need to talk now...
My girlfriend was cheating in Uno.
She's not the only one who can play that game.
Gwen, let's chat at night for about 1 hour! I want to get to know each other better!
P.S., it's Jake.