Relationship jokes

Your momma!

So Kenny finally found his one true love.

But he can't be with her because it's illegal to marry your sister.

William Spiser is SOOOOOOO gay and likes MEN!

I have a son. Her name is Zara.

I also have a dad. Her name is Lydia.

Why wouldn’t Mr. Bee 🐝 push Ms. Bee 🐝 away?

Because he loves his honey.

Why aren't orphans gay?

Because they have no one to call "daddy."

Did you know that...the only reason you don't call priests "daddy" is because that's what you call them in sex!

Your mommy.

If Will Smith had a revolver and said, "Who fucked my wife?" Chris Rock would say, "You don't have enough bullets, mate."

So I was at the store and I saw a pretty woman, and I said, "Hi."

Quickly, she said, "I am not interested. I have a husband."

And when I saw the woman again, she said, "I need help."

I said, "No, call your husband!" KARMA. 😂😜

So I was eating this girl out the other day, and I GOT AIDS. How does a 9-year-old give me AIDS? I guess my sister was hanging around the wrong crowd.

Why can't orphans have sex? Because they have no one to call "daddy."

A husband comes home from work one day, and his wife is watching the Food Network. The husband asks, "Why do you watch that? You still can’t cook," and the wife responds, "Why do you watch porn? You still can’t fuck."

One day my friend said: "I want tacos from Katie's, you?" and I said no thanks and she left. I never saw her again. Today I remember that I saw her name on TV as one of the victims of suicide, then I remember her and my motto: "If I'm dying, you're dying with me, you got no choice." I NEVER ate tacos from Katie's again.

Five minutes later, she agreed to get with me, so we went and rocked the minivan like, "Giggity, Giggity, Giggity!"

A dad asked his son what kind of cake he wanted for his birthday, and he replied, "How about a urinal cake?!"

Woman: What’s a good comeback for my sexist husband when he tells me to go make him a sandwich?

Husband: I know! How about you COMEBACK with a goddamn sandwich?

My girlfriend passed away recently.

At the funeral, everyone was shocked about it.

Still, even when dead, she is the best shag I've ever known.

My girlfriend broke up with me because I have a small dick. Too bad for her, because I give good sex.

A man found a chest full of gold, so he went to go tell his wife, only to remember why he was digging.

She said she was cheating. I put anti-freeze in her drink.