Relationship jokes

Why can’t organs have a family bag of chips?

Because they have no family to share it with.

My sister lost two things today:

1: Her virginity.

2: Her job at the zoo.

"Did it hurt when you fell from Heaven? You're adopted. Haley says she likes me more than you."

How do you know when your wife is cheating on you?

She comes home with sparkles on her face.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Your smile's warmth, Lights up my view.

"Yo mama so... Wait... Whose mother am I speaking of?"

Me and your mom in the bed.

What’s the difference between a mother and a girlfriend?

A girlfriend likes a bad boy.

Roses are red, violets are blue. I have five fingers, two of them are for you.

One fish, two fish, red fish, blue fish.

I’m breaking up with you, bitch.

Why can't orphans have sex?

Because they have no one to call "daddy."😳

Why are Alabamians so resentful of immigrants?

They don't want their sons and daughters to have sex with anyone other than their siblings or relatives.

I went home to my girlfriend with milk! She said, "Oh thank you honey!"

Then I got a call from a girl named Melissa. She called and said, "Steven, where the hell have you been? It's been two weeks and you still haven't come back yet?"

Your name is baller cuz ur in my mom's baller.

My elderly relatives like to tease me at weddings, saying, "You'll be next!"..

They soon stopped though, when I started to do the same to them at funerals.

What do sex and food have in common?

Grandma makes both better.

Dani: Hey, do you like rapists?

Tess: No!

Dani: Oh, well I'm a rapist!

Tess: Oh!

What should you do after banging the tightest pussy?..

Just put the diaper on her 😉

I was eating this girl out the other day and I tasted horse semen... I looked up at the girl and said “that’s how you died, grandma!”

What’s the difference between a man and a margarita?

A margarita hits the spot every time.