Relationship jokes
Jimmy: Your mom is gay.
Me: No, you.
Jimmy: I have no mom.
Old people kept saying "you're next" to me at weddings, so I started saying it to them at funerals.
What is black, white, and red all over? My third wife.
"Know, know how there."
"Lesh, lesh how can you at lesh remember my name?"
My wife told me to hang her the salt, so I beat the shit out of her. My name's Kyle, by the way.
A good bath is like a dead lover. You can enjoy them, that is until they get too cold.
What's the difference between a man's wife and his dog?
Lock them both in the trunk for three hours and see which is happy to see you when you open it.
How can you tell when your sister is on her period?
Your dad's knob tastes funny.
How do 4 gay guys fit on one stool at the same time?
They flip it over.
A guy walks to his friend's house. His friend asks, "Where is your girlfriend?"
The guy replies, "Meet me at the cemetery in a week, and you'll find out!"
Who needs sex when they have Valorant?
Ex-Boyfriend: You have no ass, so we're through!
Me: Stop being a dickhead, dude!! It ain't gonna make your little sausage any bigger!
My grandma said, "Hey, you want a Butterfinger cause I do?"
Me: Grandpa's in the kitchen if you want a finger.
Why did Stephen Hawking's wife leave him? She was sick of buying triple A batteries.
Roses are red, Violets are blue, Two gay lovers find out they are brothers.
My girlfriend called me a "bot" in Fortnite, so I called her "sandwich maker 3000."
Dad: I heard an actor killed themselves with a knife. It was Reese something.
Mom: Witherspoon.
Dad: No, with a knife, you dummy!
A phone is like parents. Not everyone has one.
What's the difference between a sex slave and a goat?
I don't have a sex slave in my basement...
Like if you have a boyfriend, girlfriend, or husband, or wife, or a crush.