Relationship jokes
Are you mixed? Cuz you're half fine, half mine 😏
Why did the Orphan punch the other orphan?
Because the orphan broke his leg then had to get a retirement fund, so then he farted and got 1m dollars in cash, so then he started eating his toe jam and thought it tasted really good, so he started selling it to Taco Bell, then ate a cow. All the sudden he was attacked by hangry aliens then gave them some toe jam. They loved it, so they farted there way back up to space where they were eating Harold's fresh toe jam. It was so good, then one of the aliens ate there dog, so had to go the dollar tree to get it out then started gagging on one of the aliens' 2 meter defeater, and then the Orphan made out with the other Orphan and had a wedding at playground sharting happily ever after.
Your mum stinks of disabled people.
Wanna know why?
I don't know either, you tell me.
My penis is too big for my dad to suck it, so my mum sucks it instead.
How do men like their women? Striped.
How does a priest like their children? Clean.
Why are most orphans strippers? They want to call someone mommy or daddy.
What is the difference between a stripper and candy? None. But they like it when you take the wrapper off.
There was a girl called Millie, and she had sexy blond hair, and she wanted to chase me, but I told her she had to catch me first if she loves me.
Blessed Brian, your secrets are safe with me... because I wasn’t listening when you told them.
What do you do if your girlfriend starts smoking?
Stop and apply lubrication.
Friend: I broke up with Sara.
Me: I know, she came over and I screwed her hard.
Friend: How did her pussy feel?
Me: After about 2 inches, it felt brand new.
Friend: What do you— HOLD UP. WHAT TF IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN!?!
What do orphans call a selfie?
A family photo.
My wife made electric eel for supper. I was shocked!
Your mom is a joke.
My girlfriend's a porn star.
She'd kill me if she found out.
My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
Hey, are you suicide? 'Cause I dream of you every day! <3
What do you do when an orphan is taking a photo?
Yell "FAMILY PICTURES!"
Last year, I gave my brother a BB gun for his birthday. He gave me a T-shirt with a bullseye on it.
I asked him what the bullseye was for. He said, "Target practice."
One day Little Johnny saw his grandpa smoking a cigar. Johnny said, "Can I have a puff?"
Grandpa said, "Can your dick touch your ass?"
Johnny said, "No, then that's your answer."
Later that day, Johnny saw his grandpa drinking a drink. Johnny said, "Can I have a sip?"
Grandpa said the same thing, "Can your dick touch your ass?"
Johnny said, "No, then that's your answer."
Later that night, Johnny was eating some cookies in the kitchen. Grandpa said, "Hi son, can I have a cookie?"
Johnny said, "Can your dick touch your ass?"
Grandpa said, "Yes."
Johnny said, "Good, go fuck yourself!"
When you break up with your online girlfriend, and you hear your uncle crying in the other room.
Why is an orphan gay? Because they can call somebody "daddy."