Relationship jokes

Last night I shared a bed with two of my friends because we were in a small hotel. We had strange dreams last night.

My friend on the left dreamed of getting a handjob.

So did my friend on the right.

I had a dream of skiing.

How do you know if your sister's on her period?

Your dad's dick tastes funny.

What's worse than fingering your sister?

Finding your dad's wedding ring inside her.

Why do orphans play tennis?

So they can finally get love.

You have to be a good mom to be a MILF.

You know they say, when you get lemons make lemonade... Well, I took that a little bit too literal.

Turns out squeezing your wife's tits as hard as you can hurts them.

But at least lemonade came out!

How do you know when a joke has turned into a dad joke?

When it leaves you and never comes back.

Why did the orphan become a prostitute?

So they could finally call someone "daddy."

I am Mario's brother.

Is there a mirror in your pants? Because I see myself in them.

The orphan's best friend wanted to meet his family, so he took a selfie.

"Your mum has very small balls. Congrats! I told her, your balls are bigger than your husband's."

What do orphans call a family picture?

A selfy.

What do you call gay parents?

Poly.

I bought this happy birthday card for this orphan.

To: The Orphan

From: ______

Everybody add @christianisni22 on Snap!

He's a hot babe and he's single.

Hailey: "Hey Brayden!"

Brayden: "Hey!"

*Music roles around*

*I tell Brayden Hailey likes him*

Brayden: "O_O"

Hailey: *Hides*

So sad </3 xD

I was in class and we had to choose another term for words we use everyday. For kid, I chose "child"; for dog, I chose "pet"; and for wife, I chose "dishwasher."

My older sister said she was gonna shoot herself, so I did it for her.

I got $1,000,000 for my brother. Best trade I ever made!

"Love is a good thing, never be embarrassed by it."