Relationship jokes
A wife and husband go to a barn. The husband picks up a goat and says, “Look at this pig I have to sleep with every night.”
The wife says, “Honey, that’s a goat.”
The husband replies with, “I was talking to the goat.”
What do you call it when an orphan takes a picture?
A family portrait/A selfie.
Me and the boys are cool.
Wife: “I want another baby.”
Husband: “That’s a relief, I also really don’t like this one!”
Dad: Boy, come sit in this hole while I brace the ground.
Boy: I don't want to see Grandpa, he scares me!
Sometimes I look at someone I hate and think, "I hope you get laid tonight."
By a tweaker with AIDS.
I named my dog Stone so that I can say to people that I throw stones every day.
Girl: "When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles, and lighten your burden."
Boy: "It's very kind of you, darling, but I don't have any worries or troubles."
Girl: "Well, that's because we aren't married yet!"
I just did a test to see who my soulmate is, and it said "best friend." So I guess I am gay. I think so, WTF.
How can you tell that a blonde likes you? She only gives three fucking nights in a row.
What do people have a shot at when it comes to love? Shooting them in the heart.
Your uncle Jack is stuck on a horse.
Would you help your uncle "Jack" off the horse?
freshfry, we need to talk now...
Why can orphans not get married?
They are dad can't walk them down the aisle!
I'll give you an A because you're awesome.
B because you're beautiful.
A C because you're caring.
And I'll give you this D cuz you deserve it.
What is it called when an orphan takes a selfie?
A family photo.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Mother!
Mother who?
It's your mother.
I think I am a boomerang because I always come back to you.
Hey, this is to orphans:
"Orphans are ugly. We need to know each other :D We need to date, cause ur hot and so am I and orphans rly are ugly!!!!"
Hi my sweet friends! This is for everyone who needs help right now :)