Relationship jokes

I bought this happy birthday card for this orphan.

To: The Orphan

From: ______

Everybody add @christianisni22 on Snap!

He's a hot babe and he's single.

Hailey: "Hey Brayden!"

Brayden: "Hey!"

*Music roles around*

*I tell Brayden Hailey likes him*

Brayden: "O_O"

Hailey: *Hides*

So sad </3 xD

I was in class and we had to choose another term for words we use everyday. For kid, I chose "child"; for dog, I chose "pet"; and for wife, I chose "dishwasher."

My older sister said she was gonna shoot herself, so I did it for her.

I got $1,000,000 for my brother. Best trade I ever made!

"Love is a good thing, never be embarrassed by it."

You know, the strangest things happen. My mom said, "Step on a crack, you break your mama's back, but if you step on a line, you break your father's spine." I stepped on the line. It didn't break his spine. Mom, who is my father?

Jack and Jill went up a hill to do it in the water.

Jack slipped, his condom ripped, and now they have a daughter.

What do you call a selfie that an orphan takes?

A family picture.

My heart broke as I went down the stairs, and my girlfriend broke her heart.

Me: "Cya"

Mom: "Where ya going?"

Me: "The orphanage to make yo mama jokes."

Mum: ...

When I dunk my cookies in milk, I think of you. I hold them down until the bubbles stop.

My friend Enyaw is gay, she is a cunt.

I go out with enyaw, now she is just gay now.

I go out with enyaw, now she is just gay.

What is the difference between your dad and a boomerang? The boomerang comes back.

Who's in my ass?

Your sister.

Why are uncles like curries?

Because bad ones hurt your asshole.

His gay ass dad.