Relationship jokes
My ex.
Why did John rape his mother? Because he wanted a brother to play Mario Kart with.
My girlfriend said I was a ped0phi1e.
That's a big word for a 6 year old!
(amazing pick up line) Yoo, what if we got matching tattoos? You get two towers and I get a plane, because I crashed right into your life!
A plane is about to crash into the ocean, and the passengers are freaking out.
A woman stands up, takes off her clothes, and says, "Before I go, is there a man man enough to make me feel like a woman?"
A man stands up, takes off his shirt, and says, "Here, iron this!"
"Where are my balls? Down in your mom."
If your boyfriend doesn't get your fruit puns, you got to let that mango.
My sister and I were hanging out when she opened her drawer and pulled out 3 condoms and said, "Pick one."
So this guy named Andrew Furda was my boyfriend for like a half a week, so five days. Then bam, I cut my hair. He only liked me for my looks, and I hoped he regrets it because it is WAR, so if you see this, you're going down, Andrew!
POV: You walk up to your short friend and say, "How is the weather down there?"
Who did the bee 🐝 marry?
Her honey!
My friend's emo. I told her to play jump rope with me. She hanged herself. Lol.
What did the banana say to the vibrator?
"Why are you shaking? She’s gonna eat me!"
If you think long and hard, oral sex is like cannibals.
Why could the orphan never be gay?
Because he had nobody to call "daddy."
My Dad pays a lot of attention to our household and has always had a good eye for detail. He was the one that first noticed that my mother and I have the same ring size.
When I was 17, my mom’s door was always locked. I wonder what she was doing.
When someone said to an orphan, "My boyfriend ghosted me," the orphan says back, "Don't worry, my parents ghosted me!" 🤣
What do you call two men fucking? My dad and I. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
I was going to give my wife chocolates, but my fat friends ate them.
Wife: "You don't even have friends!"