Relationship Jokes

Jack and Jill went up the hill so Jack could lick her candy, but Jack was in shock with a mouth full of cock, 'cause Jill's real name was Randy.

My neighbor has been mad at his wife for sunbathing nude. I personally am on the fence.

You know the phrase "one man's trash is another man's treasure"?

Great phrase, bad way to find out you're adopted!

When your brother sends you to go get a box of condoms for his b-day. (* *)

I like my men like I like my Alexa:

By my bed and turned on.

If they made a movie about your sex life, what would it be?

In Afghanistan, it would be "Twelve Years a Slave!" 🤣

Life is a lot like a penis. It's relaxed, and just hanging there.

It's women that make it hard.

Roses are red, violets are blue, If I slapped you, that’d be animal abuse.

Are you my homework because I’m supposed to be doing you right now, but I’m not.

My name says it all.

Dads are like boomerangs... I hope...

I was riding ya mom... LIKE SHE’S MARIO KART!

What do you call a girlfriend in the mirror?

(Your imagination.)

Your mum is gay; her name is Rachel.

A kid goes to bed with his dad because he’s scared of the dark. Turns out he just wanted to have sex.

I'll give you 20 dollars if you let me cum in you.

If sex before marriage is a sin, is sex after marriage cos or tan?

What did one gay guy say to the other when they were packing for a trip?

"Want me to pack your shit?"

I’ve been told I’ve got a perfect cock. She sure was hard on me when I cut it off, though.

I was trying to make friends, and this one person came up to me. They said, "Lettuce be friends?" I just laughed and said that was tear-able.