Relationship jokes
Mia: I'm pregnant again, Paul. I can't wait for you to come home.
Paul: I got a tree to hit on the way.
What do Nemo and my dad have in common?
They both can't be found.
What should you do if your girlfriend starts smoking?
Tell her to slow down and use lubricants.
Once upon a time, fraternal twins, brother and sister, with almost 100% equal DNA were separated at birth. At the age of 42, they were married, had 2 sons and 2 daughters. They took an ancestryDNA test, and the results were scientifically sexually shocking.
I like my women the way I like my coffee, and I don't drink coffee.
Dear Kenya, I am very sorry for how rude I was to you. I just want you to know that I'm on your side and I'll never do it again. - Sincerely, Gwen
What did one bee say to the other bee?
"I love you, honey!"
My wife told me to treat her like a princess, so I got drunk and drove through the tunnel.
I like my women like my family, they’re related.
If I send a clown to deliver flowers to my wife...
...is that a romantic jester?
I saw your mom at work the other night. She was talking about how good she was doing.
Hands down, best $20 blowjob ever.
One day, I love you.
A good woman is like a good cup of coffee, especially when it’s strong and hot with a little bit of cream in it.
Who ever said "condom?" YES DADDY!
What did a tree do for a human rights day at a tree?
I had no time today after a night with you today, but you walk away.
My family is like treasure. I need a map and shovel to find them.
How did a man know his wife died?
Dishis start piling up.
I was watching The Perfect Murder with my boyfriend. It was a good movie, but the weird thing was that my boyfriend was taking notes throughout the whole movie.
What does a lesbian call the other during sex?
Mummy.
Today was the worst day ever. My ex got ran over by a bus, and I lost my job as a bus driver.