Relationship jokes

If you think long and hard, oral sex is like cannibals.

Why do orphans like belts?

They remind them of their father.

(Pick-up line) If your tits are the Twin Towers... can I be your Osama?

Why did your emo mom get you?

To have someone to hang out with.

Mom, shut up. Me? I don't shut up, I grow up. When I look at you, I throw up.

My Dad pays a lot of attention to our household and has always had a good eye for detail. He was the one that first noticed that my mother and I have the same ring size.

When I was 17, my mom’s door was always locked. I wonder what she was doing.

When someone said to an orphan, "My boyfriend ghosted me," the orphan says back, "Don't worry, my parents ghosted me!" 🤣

What do you call two men fucking? My dad and I. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

He couldn’t stand it anymore with his sister because he is in a wheelchair.

Yo mama is so stupid, she got hit by a parked car.

What does a dad and the Twin Towers have in common?

Once they're gone, they never come back.

Why can't orphans open a family business?

Because there is no family.

Why can’t orphans have sex? Because they have no one to call DADDY! 😩

My sister and I were hanging out when she opened her drawer and pulled out 3 condoms and said, "Pick one."

My boyfriend thinks he’s hilarious.

Him: How do you break things?

Me: You break things up.

Him: Okay.

Me: Is everything okay?

Him: We’re a twig. We’re breaking up.

I would say something funny, but I would have to dig someone up.

You guys wanna hear a joke?

My LOVE LIFE.

So this guy named Andrew Furda was my boyfriend for like a half a week, so five days. Then bam, I cut my hair. He only liked me for my looks, and I hoped he regrets it because it is WAR, so if you see this, you're going down, Andrew!

Luigi was dying and had two sons. Bruno was handsome, but Alberto was ugly.

He said, "Maria, tell me, is Alberto my son?"

"Yes, Luigi," his wife said, and he died happily.

Wife said, "Thank God he didn’t ask about the other one!"