Relationship jokes
Woman: I want a man who is 6 feet and 6 inches.
Man: Is 6 feet and 6 inches one thing or two?
Woman: Two, I want a man who is 6 feet and also is 6 inches.
Man: Shit!
My girlfriend told me her lips were dry, and she had the audacity to get mad at me for telling her to walk.
Do you like soccer? My favorite player is Ronaldo, but we can still get Messi.
How can you tell your best friend is gay?
His meat tastes like shit.
Roses are red, violets are blue. I have five fingers, two of them are for you.
Wanna play dolls?
I can be Ken, and you can be the box I come in.
You know you have weird Indian parents when you can hear them canilingus each other.
What's the difference between a boomerang and my dad?
The boomerang comes back.
If you text your crush and they leave you on read, just know that "read" has four letters. You know what also has four letters? "Mine." So that basically means that you are theirs. :)
When I get jokes. They aren't f****** restarted like you.
My sister.
My girlfriend told me she’s sad because she’s put on a bit of weight.
I told her to keep her chins up.
Why is the older brother's kid brother that has autism always performing fellatio on his older brother?
Because he wants to find out how many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop.
Your girlfriend/boyfriend says: "I'm dating your uncle..." You start crying and you look under the bed and your uncle says: "Damn."
Kid: Which were me, are your parents?
Orphan: What are parents?
In a lesbian relationship, which feminazi cooks?
None, both carpet munchers eat out.
Girls: Boys are like games, they're meant to get played.
Boys: Girls are like stones, the flat ones get skipped.
Louis Armstrong and Tork Poettschke go for a walk.
One says to the other, "My wife always says that icke is no worse than the other men."
"How many men does your wife have?"
What’s the benefit of dating a homeless woman?
You can drop her off anywhere.
What do a man and a blonde do in bed?
Sleep!
When a woman says, "I need to be treated like a delicate flower," don't cut the wrong cord on the bomb.