Relationship jokes
What did the autistic kid say to his girlfriend after they broke up?
"I thought what we had was special!"
Roses are red, violets are blue. I have five fingers, two of them are for you.
I’m really good at algebra. I can replace your X without even asking Y.
How did the skeleton win the girl? He was humerus.
What's the difference between normal sex and anal sex?
One makes your whole day and one makes your hole weak.
Memes
Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana.
Jack got high and slapped his thigh and said, "You know you wanna."
Jill said yes, picked up her dress and said, "Let's have some fun!"
Silly ole Jill forgot her pill, and now they have a son.
My ex's dad died while she was texting me. She said she had a boyfriend, but I told her I had a dad.
Why did the orphan girl cry during sex?
Because her boyfriend said "Who's your daddy?"
BAJAHAHAHHAA
My friend looks more red than Mr. Krabs.
It’s weird, I could’ve sworn I saw the silhouette of a belt hurling towards him the other day.
Dad: Hey, uh... you're adopted.
Dog: *frown*
Girl: Come over.
Orphan: I can’t.
Girl: My parents aren’t home.
Orphan: Oh, cool, something we have in common.
Why is there only a glory hole in the handicapped stall in some public men's restrooms?
Because a gay man that is not physically handicapped can't receive a blow job from a gay man that is physically handicapped under the handicapped stall.
Your mum is so fat, all her relationships are long distance.
One man's trash is another man's treasure, he said when he found out his parents split up and he is being adopted.
Why don't orphans get dad jokes?
Because they don't have a dad to tell them.
Today, I asked my phone "Siri" why am I still single, and it activated the front camera.
My wife told me she was fat and depressed. She asked me to compliment her, so I said, "You have perfect eyesight!"
Nana when Zane kisses her in her mind: [Insert Chiwawa Scream!]
You ever look back at your ex and are like, "Wow! What was I thinking?"
Then I start to think I was the problem :(
Just kidding, fuck that asshole!
My Mrs is going to hit the roof when she realizes I've replaced the bed with a trampoline!