Relationship jokes

When your brother sends you to go get a box of condoms for his b-day. (* *)

I like my men like I like my Alexa:

By my bed and turned on.

If they made a movie about your sex life, what would it be?

In Afghanistan, it would be "Twelve Years a Slave!" 🤣

Life is a lot like a penis. It's relaxed, and just hanging there.

It's women that make it hard.

Roses are red, violets are blue, If I slapped you, that’d be animal abuse.

Are you my homework because I’m supposed to be doing you right now, but I’m not.

My name says it all.

Dads are like boomerangs... I hope...

I was riding ya mom... LIKE SHE’S MARIO KART!

What do you call a girlfriend in the mirror?

(Your imagination.)

Your mum is gay; her name is Rachel.

A kid goes to bed with his dad because he’s scared of the dark. Turns out he just wanted to have sex.

I'll give you 20 dollars if you let me cum in you.

If sex before marriage is a sin, is sex after marriage cos or tan?

What did one gay guy say to the other when they were packing for a trip?

"Want me to pack your shit?"

I’ve been told I’ve got a perfect cock. She sure was hard on me when I cut it off, though.

I was trying to make friends, and this one person came up to me. They said, "Lettuce be friends?" I just laughed and said that was tear-able.

When your uncle drops a nickel, but the only thing he really drops is his pants.

Why is the penis so light?

Because even thots can lift them.

If sex is a pain in the ass, then you're doing it wrong.