Relationship jokes
Why do orphans like belts?
They remind them of their father.
(Pick-up line) If your tits are the Twin Towers... can I be your Osama?
Why did your emo mom get you?
To have someone to hang out with.
Mom, shut up. Me? I don't shut up, I grow up. When I look at you, I throw up.
Why do gay men want to eat each other's meat because meat is meat, and man has to eat meat?
Yo mama is so stupid, she got hit by a parked car.
What does a dad and the Twin Towers have in common?
Once they're gone, they never come back.
Life is like a penis.
Women make it hard.
What is the difference between a rock and my girlfriend?
One is rock hard, and the other is Dwayne Johnson.
Boy: Will you remember me in a minute?
Mom: Yes.
Boy: Will you remember me in a day?
Mom: Yes.
Boy: Will you remember me in a year?
Mom: Yes.
Boy: Knock knock.
Mom: Who's there?
Boy: Bitch, you forgot me.
He couldn’t stand it anymore with his sister because he is in a wheelchair.
Why can't orphans open a family business?
Because there is no family.
Why can’t orphans have sex? Because they have no one to call DADDY! 😩
You guys wanna hear a joke?
My LOVE LIFE.
I would say something funny, but I would have to dig someone up.
My boyfriend thinks he’s hilarious.
Him: How do you break things?
Me: You break things up.
Him: Okay.
Me: Is everything okay?
Him: We’re a twig. We’re breaking up.
A man asked another man if he was happy with his marriage. He replied, "Yes, I'm very happy. We go on date night every week." The other man asked, "When?" He goes on Wednesday and I go on Thursday.
I went on a date last night and told my date I worked with animals every day.
She said, "Oh, how sweet. What do you do?" I said, "I'm a butcher."
Luigi was dying and had two sons. Bruno was handsome, but Alberto was ugly.
He said, "Maria, tell me, is Alberto my son?"
"Yes, Luigi," his wife said, and he died happily.
Wife said, "Thank God he didn’t ask about the other one!"
You should never date a prospector. They're all just gold diggers.