When your uncle drops a nickel, but the only thing he really drops is his pants.
Relationship Jokes
Why is the penis so light?
Because even thots can lift them.
If sex is a pain in the ass, then you're doing it wrong.
Evan, yo mum rode on my big PP love, dad.
Why was the baby ant confused?
Because its uncles were all aunts!
What did the man's dick say to the man?
I just can't "hand"le it!
I love you.
What is the difference between a flat tire bicycle and a woman?
Answer: You need to pump the tire on the bicycle before you ride it, while a woman you need to ride her and pump.
My enemy told me I’m adopted, so I told him at least I got adopted.
What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?
120 pounds.
How does a depressed couple say goodbye on the phone?
"No, you hang yourself first..."
What’s the difference between a brick and redheads? Bricks get laid.
You're losing all your friends, but never any calories.
Jack and Jill went up the hill, had some fun, now they have 4 babies.
When you tell your friend he’s a simp and isn’t offended, say it stands for sucking intensely at monkeys' penises.
How do you save your wife from drowning?
Take your foot off her neck.
Throw a plate.
It’s broken, right?
Say “sorry” to it.
Did it fix back?
No... that’s the same thing you did to me :)
Me: Hey, I’m your mom.
Orphan: Yay, you came back!
Me: Sike!
When you have to get your prostate checked and you can feel the cold rubber of the glove, but you realize both the doctor's hands are on your shoulders.
Child: "Mom, what's an 'orgasm'?"
Mom: "I don't know, dear. Try asking your father."
