Relationship jokes
I like my women like I like my scotch:
12 years old and mixed with coke.
What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing. You already done told her twice.
What's the difference between a joke and two dicks?
Women can't take a joke!
Why did John rape his mother? Because he wanted a brother to play Mario Kart with.
My girlfriend said I was a ped0phi1e.
That's a big word for a 6 year old!
Roses are red, violets are blue, If I had a gun, I'd shoot you.
Is that a mirror in your pocket?
'Cause I can see myself in your pants.
What’s the difference between the baby I just stabbed and Isaac Newton?
Isaac Newton died a virgin.
"I only want to play with your daughter. It was okay yesterday."
I heard that the numbers on the front of your credit card represent the number of minutes until you meet the 💕 love of your life!💕
And the 3 numbers on the back represent the month and day you make it official!!
Comment those numbers to lock it in!!😄
My teacher gave me an A in Physics, then she tells me that it turns guys on.
I like strippers on me.
"Where are my balls? Down in your mom."
My ex.
My friend's emo. I told her to play jump rope with me. She hanged herself. Lol.
What did the banana say to the vibrator?
"Why are you shaking? She’s gonna eat me!"
Why could the orphan never be gay?
Because he had nobody to call "daddy."
If you think long and hard, oral sex is like cannibals.
Who did the bee 🐝 marry?
Her honey!
Mom, shut up. Me? I don't shut up, I grow up. When I look at you, I throw up.