Relationship jokes
Why don’t orphans have sex?
Because they have no one to call “daddy.”
Me and Jesus are really close; he even turns the light on for me when I go pee in the middle of the night. Well, that is what I thought until the fridge was wet.
Imagine this... you're a lesbian, and you're doing it with your cannibal girlfriend. You say, "Eat me, baby!"
She pulls out a knife and fork.
POV: You walk up to your short friend and say, "How is the weather down there?"
Yo mama is so stupid, she got hit by a parked car.
What does a dad and the Twin Towers have in common?
Once they're gone, they never come back.
"Where are my balls? Down in your mom."
I was going to give my wife chocolates, but my fat friends ate them.
Wife: "You don't even have friends!"
A plane is about to crash into the ocean, and the passengers are freaking out.
A woman stands up, takes off her clothes, and says, "Before I go, is there a man man enough to make me feel like a woman?"
A man stands up, takes off his shirt, and says, "Here, iron this!"
My ex.
(amazing pick up line) Yoo, what if we got matching tattoos? You get two towers and I get a plane, because I crashed right into your life!
My teacher gave me an A in Physics, then she tells me that it turns guys on.
My girlfriend said I was a ped0phi1e.
That's a big word for a 6 year old!
Daddy, I really miss you. Mummy changed my name to Tickle Timpson. Anyway, daddy I forgive you for abusing me.
Why did John rape his mother? Because he wanted a brother to play Mario Kart with.
My friend's emo. I told her to play jump rope with me. She hanged herself. Lol.
What did the banana say to the vibrator?
"Why are you shaking? She’s gonna eat me!"
Why could the orphan never be gay?
Because he had nobody to call "daddy."
If you think long and hard, oral sex is like cannibals.
Mom, shut up. Me? I don't shut up, I grow up. When I look at you, I throw up.