Relationship jokes

A plane is about to crash into the ocean, and the passengers are freaking out.

A woman stands up, takes off her clothes, and says, "Before I go, is there a man man enough to make me feel like a woman?"

A man stands up, takes off his shirt, and says, "Here, iron this!"

My ex.

When someone said to an orphan, "My boyfriend ghosted me," the orphan says back, "Don't worry, my parents ghosted me!" 🤣

What do you call two men fucking? My dad and I. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

POV: You walk up to your short friend and say, "How is the weather down there?"

When I was 17, my mom’s door was always locked. I wonder what she was doing.

Why do orphans like belts?

They remind them of their father.

Mom, shut up. Me? I don't shut up, I grow up. When I look at you, I throw up.

My Dad pays a lot of attention to our household and has always had a good eye for detail. He was the one that first noticed that my mother and I have the same ring size.

Why do gay men want to eat each other's meat because meat is meat, and man has to eat meat?

(Pick-up line) If your tits are the Twin Towers... can I be your Osama?

Why did your emo mom get you?

To have someone to hang out with.

If you think long and hard, oral sex is like cannibals.

Who did the bee 🐝 marry?

Her honey!

My friend's emo. I told her to play jump rope with me. She hanged herself. Lol.

What did the banana say to the vibrator?

"Why are you shaking? She’s gonna eat me!"

Why could the orphan never be gay?

Because he had nobody to call "daddy."

Daddy, I really miss you. Mummy changed my name to Tickle Timpson. Anyway, daddy I forgive you for abusing me.

I heard that the numbers on the front of your credit card represent the number of minutes until you meet the 💕 love of your life!💕

And the 3 numbers on the back represent the month and day you make it official!!

Comment those numbers to lock it in!!😄

My teacher gave me an A in Physics, then she tells me that it turns guys on.