Relationship jokes

Knock knock.

You: Who's there?

Urmom.

I caught my wife cheating on me.

I beat my son and grounded him.

Is there a really annoying girl at your school and she's so fake? Well, say this:

Me: Hey, I have a nickname for you.

Her: Really? What?

Me: Sweet-in-low.

Her: Why?

Me: Because you're artificial.

Unbelievable! When doctors touch my body, it’s alright, but if I do the same to some lady, apparently it’s "harassment!"

"When someone asks for a dad joke and you send them to the orphan page."

Q: What is Chris Brown's #1 Hit? A: Rihanna

Me and my friend roasting each other.

Him: Your dad dropped you on purpose, but my dad dropped me by accident.

Me: But after dropping you, he never picked you up.

Do you know why boys can't ask girls out? Because they don't have any balls to ask girls out!

Why can't an orphan be friends with Dom Toretto?

Dom doesn't have friends; he has "family."

Whoever said men will f**k anything that moves is *dead* wrong.

What do you call a downy who can't get a girlfriend?

Down bad.

I was in math class when my teacher gave us homework, and she said to me, "You're gonna get an F this time." So I went back home, and f**k my teacher.

If my son was a real man, I wouldn't have caught him fucking another man.

Why does Aaron like men? Because his dad beats him.

Dad: Johnny, Johnny?

Johnny: Yes, Papa.

Dad: Getting women?

Johnny: Yes, Papa.

Dad: Telling lies?

Johnny: No, Papa.

Dad: Well, you're 100% lying because you get NO WOMEN!

What relationship status fits an orphan?

Single.

What do you call a dad without a dad joke?

Dead.

Q: What is found deep inside of us, and the more we express our love for each other the more it spreads throughout the world?

A: Covid.

"Your mother has been with us for 20 years," said John. "Isn’t it time she got a place of her own?"

"My mother?" replied Helen. "I thought she was your mother."

I photo bombed someone's selfie, and then they yelled, "Why would you do that? I was trying to take a family photo!"