Relationship jokes

What is the difference between your dad and a boomerang? The boomerang comes back.

Who's in my ass?

Your sister.

Why are uncles like curries?

Because bad ones hurt your asshole.

Why can't orphans be gay?

'Cause they have no one to call "daddy."

What do you do when your man doesn't like fruit jokes?

Let the mango.

An emo kid and a silent kid would be a good acquaintance because the emo would wish to die, and the silent kid would be the nice guy and grant that wish.

Your girlfriend/boyfriend says: "I'm dating your uncle..." You start crying and you look under the bed and your uncle says: "Damn."

Kid: Which were me, are your parents?

Orphan: What are parents?

In a lesbian relationship, which feminazi cooks?

None, both carpet munchers eat out.

Roses are red. Violets are blue. Your wife needs Jon Grudon, too.

I was digging in my garden when I found this chest of gold coins.

I wanted to run inside to tell my wife what I found, but that's when I remembered why I was digging.

Son asks dad, "How much does marriage cost?"

Dad: "I don’t know, son. I’m still paying for it."

How is a marriage like a hurricane?

In the beginning, there’s a lot of sucking and blowing, but at the end, you lose your house.

What made Adam and Eve's marriage perfect?

He didn't have to hear about all the men she could have married, and she didn't have to hear about his Mom's cooking.

Osama Bin Laden was trying to give me relationship advice.

Probably wasn't the best time to say "OK Boomer."

What's the difference between three cocks and a joke?

Your mom can't take a joke.

My wife wanted something that went from 0 to 80 very quickly.

So I brought her a new bathroom scale.

A guy walks into a bar with a revolver and yells, “WHO THE FUCK FUCKED MY WIFE!”

A man in the back responds, “YOU AIN'T GOT ENOUGH BULLETS MATE!”

I hooked up with my German girlfriend, but I kept on getting distracted when she kept yelling her age.

Question; Why do they call Melania Trump the "Walk-In" Freezer?

Answer; It's because that is where EVERYONE goes to "Hang Their Meat"!