Relationship jokes

Girlfriend

Todd from Lucasville · 8 years ago

My girlfriend said she wanted to be pampered. I told her I wasn't into diaper fetishes.

Mom

Rwj · 4 years ago

I was riding ya mom... LIKE SHE’S MARIO KART!

Orphan

yourmomgaylol · 5 years ago

Why do orphans love Dom Toretto?

Because "family is everything!"

Sex

Bob Ross · 8 years ago

What's the best thing about having sex with a 26-year-old?

There's 20 of them.

Lyric

Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

A screenshot of a tweet from user Plain As Day Quavo. The tweet text reads 'Saw people were sharing their favorite lyrics so here's some of mine'. Below are four square panels. The top left panel shows a person covering their face, with the text 'through them hospital doors' and 'FLUSHING SCOTCH "COUGH SYRUP" COYOTE'. The top right panel shows Eminem with a boombox, with the text 'Meanwhile my attention's pulled in another direction. Some receptionist' and 'EMINEM "LIKE TOY SOLDIERS"'. The bottom left panel shows Robert Palmer, with the text 'Doctor, doctor, gimme the news' and 'ROBERT PALMER "BAD CASE OF LOVING YOU (DOCTOR, DOCTOR)"'. The bottom right panel shows Bob Geldof, with the text 'Something's wrong. She was lying on the bed. Crying when I walked in' and 'BOB GELDOF "I CRY TOO"'. Each lyric quote is enclosed in double quotes.

Relationship memes

Casket

Anonymous · 5 years ago

So my friend died. I was at her casket. I said I'll see you on the other side, so I went to the other side of the casket.

Dad

Louie · 3 years ago

My friend says, "You should try Oreos with water."

Me: No, because my dad actually came back with the milf.

Ring

KDK · 5 years ago

Ariana Grande had 7 husbands, so she had 7 rings.

Air

Cricket Green · 3 years ago

What’s the difference between milk and the air?

At least the air will always be there for me.

Uncle

18 naked cowboys waiting to get fucked · 4 years ago

You know, having an uncle is a good thing sometimes! I get a pair of shoes every week. He says it’s my reward for playing the tickle game with him in his damp and dark basement. It hurts sometimes. But hey, new shoes!

Dad

Anonymous · 4 years ago

Me and my friend roasting each other.

Him: Your dad dropped you on purpose, but my dad dropped me by accident.

Me: But after dropping you, he never picked you up.

Man

smella · 8 years ago

Two mums hook up!

Their daughter comes in the room and says, "Which one's the baby daddy?"

The "mum" points to the woman who was actually a man!

Lesbian

Amaurotic Idiocy · 11 months ago

I dated an Indian girl for about six months. She was always Sikhing attention.

Heart

xxxtentacion · 6 years ago

Yeah, Who am I? Someone that's afraid to let go, uh. You decide, if you're ever gonna, let me know (yeah). Suicide, if you ever try to let go, uh. I'm sad and low, yeah. I'm sad and low, yeah. Who am I? Someone that's afraid to let go, uh. You decide, if you're ever gonna, let me know (yeah). Suicide, if you ever try to let go, uh. I'm sad and low, yeah. I'm sad and low, yeah.

I gave her everything. She took my heart and left me lonely. I've been broken, heart's contentious. I won't fix, I'd rather weep. I'm lost and I'm found, but It's torture being in love. I love when you're around But I fucking hate when you leave. Who am I? Someone that's afraid to let go, uh. You decide, if you're ever gonna, let me know (yeah). Suicide, if you ever try to let go, uh. I'm sad and low, yeah. I'm sad and low, yeah. Who am I? Someone that's afraid to let go, uh. You decide, if you're ever gonna, let me know (yeah). Suicide, if you ever try to let go, uh. I'm sad and low, yeah. I'm sad and low, yeah. Who am I? Someone that's afraid to let go, uh. You decide, if you're ever gonna, let me know (yeah). Suicide, if you ever try to let go, uh. I'm sad and low, yeah. I'm sad and low, yeah. Who am I? Someone that's afraid to let go, uh. You decide, if you're ever gonna, let me know (yeah). Suicide, if you ever try to let go, uh. I'm sad and low, yeah. I'm sad and low, yeah.