Relationship jokes

Are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see.

Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana.

Jack got high and grabbed Jill's thigh and said, "I know you wanna!"

Jill said yes, lifted up her dress, and then they had some fun,

But stupid Jill forgot the pill and now they have a son.

I'm adopted :[

I went to a stand up show with the person who made my life a joke.

Why is Ronnie Anne in love with Lincoln? Because he has a fat nugen.

So, as a school shooter, I try to remember my ABC's. A, B, C, D, E, F, GUN!

And I basically stop at G, since no students ever speak to me about the rest.

This morning I was beaten up by a busty woman in an elevator.

I was staring at boobs, and she said, "Press One?"

So I did...

I don't remember much after that.

What do women and screen doors have in common? The more you bang them, the looser they get.

Your mum is gay; her name is Rachel.

Why can't an orphan be gay? Because they don't have anyone to call "daddy."

A girl and boy are in bed after sex. The boy goes, “I can’t believe they got together after all that shit.” The girl says, “Who?” The boy goes, “My ass cheeks.”

When you meet your gf at the family reunion.

There once was a boy named Sammy who loved this girl beyond belief. Her name was Rayne, but she didn’t notice him and or talk to him, but one day she did and they ended up liking each other and getting married and living happily... wait, no, that’s not right.

Sammy actually snuck into Rayne’s house one day and kidnapped her and locked her in his basement and made her into a puppet so he could keep her forever and ever. The End.

You can make fun of adopted kids all you want. What are they going to do, tell their parents on you? Lol.

Every time my grandmother and I were at a wedding, she’d say: “you’re next.” So I started saying the same thing to her at funerals.

What is an orphan's family photo?

A selfie.

Why can't orphans be gay?

They have no one to call "daddy".

Got my girlfriend a "get better soon" card. She's not sick, I just think she can do better.

Jack and Jill went up the hill to start to build the still for Jill.

Jack stopped and said to drunkin' Jill, "To build this still will take so long."

Jill said to Jack, "Well, f--k the still and kiss my ass, and watch me take another pill!"

Unfortunately, I had bad luck and faced infidelity.

Picture this: the bedroom door opens and I see my girlfriend in bed with two men...

I didn’t expect her to come back so early.