Relationship jokes

Gf: Hi.

Bf: Hi.

Gf: Did you eat yet?

Bf: Did you eat yet?

Gf: Are you copying me?

Bf: Are you coping me??

Gf: I love you.

Bf: Yeah, I ate already.

Roses are red, violets are blue, I'd rather be single than be with someone like you.

You'll never be lonely at cousinsonly.com.

My girlfriend's dog died, so to cheer her up I went out and got her an identical one.

She went mad, "What am I going to do with two dead dogs?"

I'm still playing hide & seek with my dad.

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Your mom.

Fuck you you rwind my life.

I heard you were looking for a stud. I have the STD, and all I need is U.

Pro marriage tip: Let your wife know you’re all about women’s rights, especially the right to remain silent, because all appliances should be silent.

I swear I always finish on page 3 when I'm looking at family pictures.

What should you do if your girlfriend starts smoking?

Tell her to slow down and use lubricants.

I wanted to fuck my mom, but she replied, "My pussy only belongs to your dad." That's why I had to fuck her in the a$$!

Jack and Jill went up the hill so Jack could lick Jill's candy, but in the end, Jack got a face full of cock because Jill's real name is Randy.

Funny things or weird things to say to someone.

Hey... have you kissed a girl before? Weird things to say to someone.

It's hard to find friends that [are] 91% funny, 100% nice, and 1000000% good-looking. Funny!

Weird names to call a girl: Sweetums.

Baby-Bugga-Boo.

Fuzzkins.

Lumpy.

Nilly.

Ninty Minty.

and SEXY WITCH NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!! Gross that's why I am not getting a bf!

I asked my daddy what sex was. He said, "Wanna cum and try it?"

Rape isn't a joke.

It's a type of way of making friends and to mate with other women.

It's a way of art, and works on anybody!

Like this if you agree.

Dad: I'm dying.

Son: Hi dying, I'm [name].

Dad: Really, now is not the time.

Son: I'm sorry.

Dad: Hi sorry, I'm Dad. (dies)

My sister said the onion is the only vegetable that can make you cry...

So I threw a carrot at her.

My elderly relatives like to tease me at weddings, saying, "You'll be next!"..

They soon stopped though, when I started to do the same to them at funerals.

Jack and Jill went up the hill to do it in the water.

Jack slipped, and the condom ripped; now they have a daughter.

Hey girl, are you a farmer? Because you sure know how to raise a cock.