Relationship jokes

Why do orphans hate Dom Toretto?

Because they hate how he cares about family.

Roses are red, violets are blue, I'd rather be single than be with someone like you.

My wife of 60 years told me, "Let's go upstairs and make love."

I just sighed and said, "Choose one, I can't do both."

Yo mama so stupid, she raised you.

Gwen, if you're reading this, the link I sent is for you and your boyfriend to chat and stuff. No one shall bother you! Pinky pinky!

Btw, do you know how I am cause if do then I am related to Kenya and my name starts with T? Don't worry, just chat with your boyfriend.

I told my deaf mom to be nice to the neighbors. She didn't listen...

Gf: Hi.

Bf: Hi.

Gf: Did you eat yet?

Bf: Did you eat yet?

Gf: Are you copying me?

Bf: Are you coping me??

Gf: I love you.

Bf: Yeah, I ate already.

What’s the difference between cancer and my brother?

My brother didn’t beat cancer.

Who needs dating apps when you have family reunions?

I wanted to fuck my mom, but she replied, "My pussy only belongs to your dad." That's why I had to fuck her in the a$$!

Jack and Jill went up the hill so Jack could lick Jill's candy, but in the end, Jack got a face full of cock because Jill's real name is Randy.

Funny things or weird things to say to someone.

Hey... have you kissed a girl before? Weird things to say to someone.

It's hard to find friends that [are] 91% funny, 100% nice, and 1000000% good-looking. Funny!

Weird names to call a girl: Sweetums.

Baby-Bugga-Boo.

Fuzzkins.

Lumpy.

Nilly.

Ninty Minty.

and SEXY WITCH NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!! Gross that's why I am not getting a bf!

I asked my daddy what sex was. He said, "Wanna cum and try it?"

Rape isn't a joke.

It's a type of way of making friends and to mate with other women.

It's a way of art, and works on anybody!

Like this if you agree.

A: What's the similarity between your girlfriend and the sun?

B: They're both hot?

A: They're both massive.

What was the computer's best pickup line?

Nice bits!

I guess age is just a number, but in your boyfriend's case, a personal preference.

My sister said the onion is the only vegetable that can make you cry...

So I threw a carrot at her.

Jack and Jill went up the hill to do it in the water.

Jack slipped, and the condom ripped; now they have a daughter.

My elderly relatives like to tease me at weddings, saying, "You'll be next!"..

They soon stopped though, when I started to do the same to them at funerals.