Relationship jokes

You'll never be lonely at cousinsonly.com.

My sister says, "Dad," and repeats it, and this is my dad: WOULD U STOP me? 😑

I'm still playing hide & seek with my dad.

What's fat and wanks over his mom?

Guy Sheppard.

My girlfriend's dog died, so to cheer her up I went out and got her an identical one.

She went mad, "What am I going to do with two dead dogs?"

Why go across town when you can go across the hall?

Last week a girl asked me for sex. I had to disappoint her... so I said yes.

All the people disliking these jokes are definitely orphans.

I swear I always finish on page 3 when I'm looking at family pictures.

Once my girlfriend asked me to give her lipstick, and I accidentally gave her the glue stick.

She won't talk to me anymore.

Why don’t some couples go to the gym?

Because some relationships don’t work out.

What is the worst part about siblings having sex?

Being left out.

Who needs dating apps when you have family reunions?

My son told me he has to bring an object for show and tell at school.

So I had him bring my wife.

Jack and Jill went up the hill so Jack could lick Jill's candy, but in the end, Jack got a face full of cock because Jill's real name is Randy.

I wanted to fuck my mom, but she replied, "My pussy only belongs to your dad." That's why I had to fuck her in the a$$!

Funny things or weird things to say to someone.

Hey... have you kissed a girl before? Weird things to say to someone.

It's hard to find friends that [are] 91% funny, 100% nice, and 1000000% good-looking. Funny!

Weird names to call a girl: Sweetums.

Baby-Bugga-Boo.

Fuzzkins.

Lumpy.

Nilly.

Ninty Minty.

and SEXY WITCH NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!! Gross that's why I am not getting a bf!

I asked my daddy what sex was. He said, "Wanna cum and try it?"

Recently, I've found out my wife has been cheating on me for the past 3 weeks with a baker downtown in Manhattan, New York, thinking I wouldn't find out. Irony of it all, she received a yeast infection.

*bowl of dark grapes*

Friend 1: I like my grapes how I like my men.

Friend 2: Black? Good one.

Friend 1: 21 at a time.