Relationship jokes
During this COVID shit, if a guy starts following you with the masks on, should you be scared, or is that dumb bastard just your boyfriend?
I told my deaf mom to be nice to the neighbors. She didn't listen...
Gf: Hi.
Bf: Hi.
Gf: Did you eat yet?
Bf: Did you eat yet?
Gf: Are you copying me?
Bf: Are you coping me??
Gf: I love you.
Bf: Yeah, I ate already.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Your mom.
Fuck you you rwind my life.
My sister says, "Dad," and repeats it, and this is my dad: WOULD U STOP me? 😑
My girlfriend's dog died, so to cheer her up I went out and got her an identical one.
She went mad, "What am I going to do with two dead dogs?"
My son told me he has to bring an object for show and tell at school.
So I had him bring my wife.
What’s the difference between cancer and my brother?
My brother didn’t beat cancer.
Are you sure your father isn't a thief?
Because he stole the stars from the sky and put them in your eyes.
All the people disliking these jokes are definitely orphans.
Once my girlfriend asked me to give her lipstick, and I accidentally gave her the glue stick.
She won't talk to me anymore.
Last week a girl asked me for sex. I had to disappoint her... so I said yes.
I swear I always finish on page 3 when I'm looking at family pictures.
I heard you were looking for a stud...
I already have the STD; all I need is you.
Why don’t some couples go to the gym?
Because some relationships don’t work out.
What is the worst part about siblings having sex?
Being left out.
Who needs dating apps when you have family reunions?
Women are like grenades: you pull the ring and BOOM, the house is gone!
What's fat and wanks over his mom?
Guy Sheppard.
I'm still playing hide & seek with my dad.