Relationship jokes
The South Tower proposed to the North Tower, but he said no.
Dad: I'm dying.
Son: Hi dying, I'm [name].
Dad: Really, now is not the time.
Son: I'm sorry.
Dad: Hi sorry, I'm Dad. (dies)
My mom told me that she got a new job & I don't have to leave the house.
Then my mom told all my customers are the men that live in our neighborhood.
Then I ask what is your job call. My mom said job hand, then I said job and or is hand job.
My mom said yeah that it. My mom said I'm good at my job that why all the males are always knocking at the door.
I was going home and 3 guys came up to me: an Italian, a Black guy, and a Spanish guy. They said, "You should be a proud brother, your sister knows her meats." I didn't know what they were talking about. They said, "Your sister won a trophy, you will see it when you get home." I went home. My sister said, "Look, I won a trophy by knowing my meats." I said, "What do you mean?" She said, "Well, 3 guys blindfolded me and I gave them a blowjob, each one of them, and I guessed which flavor it was. I was right all the time, that's how I won my trophy." As a big brother, I couldn't be any prouder.
I broke up with my boyfriend and stole his wheelchair.
Guess who came crawling back?
When you met her first before your parents met each other. (In the case of your mom dating her dad).
I like my boo like I like my packages: straight out of the box.
What does a woman call Stormzy in bed?
Stiff chocolate.
Adopted kid:
Hey, Alex, what are you doing?
Alex:
Nothing, just playing my game. Anyways, you know you can call me "dad."
Adopted kid:
OK, dad Alex.
Alex:
Oh, come on! My game! I’m winning. Let’s go!
Adopted kid:
I’m so glad I have a mom.
SHAENAYA WANTS TO SUCK EVERYBOYS DICK BESIDES MINE CAUSE SHE A THIRSTY HOE.
What is the difference between Harry Houdini and everyone else in my life? Harry was the only person not to disappear.
Why won't my boyfriend eat my pie? His brother made it.
Or is she asking her son, "Do you know Newton?"
The boy said, "No, I don't know."
She said to him, "If you had paid attention to your lessons, you would have known him!"
The boy said, "Ok, do you know Ikhlod?"
She said to him, "No, who is she?"
He said to her, "If you had paid attention to your husband, you would have known her."
The important thing is that the boy is currently a week with his uncles and a week with his turbans.
If someone is mean to an orphan just say, "I will call your mum," and make them cry even more.
Jack and Jill went down to hell to fetch your mother's bladder.
Her bladder broke. You two are soaked, and now you have a daughter, 'cause in that bladder was me!
Your girlfriend/boyfriend says: "I'm dating your uncle..." You start crying and you look under the bed and your uncle says: "Damn."
I would take out the trash, but my mom said you weren't ready!!! XD
My wife said she wanted to leave me. She said it’s because of the abuse, but really, she’s the one abusing herself by drinking alcohol and got poisoning the next day. This shows almost half of the woman’s population is weak both physically and mentally.
Husband: Hey honey, words can’t describe how beautiful you are.
Wife: Aww, thanks.
Husband: But numbers can. 0 out of 10.
Why did my mouth say no to butt? Because that would be too much sex.