Relationship jokes
I went to visit my childhood home. I asked the owners if I could come in for some nostalgic memories. They said no and slammed the door on me. My parents are so mean.
My wife is pregnant, but when we get to the doctors, something happened...
What happened?
Answer: The husband is pregnant too, with someone else’s baby, not the wife’s baby, but the wife is pregnant with his baby.
When you know you have a gay friend, but you find out that they like you!
I played Rock Paper Scissors with my friend Enyaw. I cba with jokes basically me and Enyaw always scissor.
What does Buzz Lightyear and an orphan's parents have in common?
They go to infinity and beyond.
Parent: My parents never attended my birthdays.
Birthday girl: Oh wow!
Parent: Anyone missing?
Birthday girl: Your parents.
My mom is bad and my dad is bad.
That one depressed friend.
Me calling the orphan kid from school: "Hello, are your parents home?"
The orphan kid: *starts sobbing* "STOP CALLING HERE!"
Why is an orphan bad at tennis?
'Cause he couldn't get any love.
You're the sun in my life, now get 93 million miles away from me.
Why did the orphan become gay? Because he wanted to call someone "daddy."
We split because she would always say I never listen, or something like that.
I once was playing with my friend and Roblox girlfriend, then one day, they cheated on me. I broke up with her and unfriended him, then I saw my mom and my uncle crying!
Me be like: ;-;
Can't be bothered with jokes, me and Syd Drake f**k 24/7.
My dad is now a milkman.
Now I have over 50 brothers and sisters.
What do women and screen doors have in common? The more you bang them, the looser they get.
If an orphan takes a family photo, it’s called a selfie.
Bro, I saw two dudes kissing LOL, but not regular kissing.
A guy and his girl just finished making love.
Just as they lay next to each other, the girl asks, "Have you thought about any baby names?"
The guy then takes his condom off and ties it, and says, "Well, probably David Copperfield, if he gets out of this!"