Relationship jokes
Al Fayed’s son arrives at heaven’s gates and sees his driver.
He shouts “you stupid cunt!”
The driver says, “Watch, Boss?”
Dodi replies...:
“I said I WANT TO FUCK DI IN THE TUNNEL NOT FUCKING DIE IN THE TUNNEL!”
I asked what was her favorite type of magic. She said, "the one you make."
Do you know why Daddy never comes back to get the milk? Because he’s the milkman.
Me: Joe left today.
Orphan: Who's Joe?
Me: Joe mama!
Why does Lincoln like Ronnie Anne?
She is the only one that calls me "lamo."
Memes
Like if you can relate
Why is Ronnie Anne in love with Lincoln? Because he has a fat nugen.
What is the difference between Harry Houdini and everyone else in my life? Harry was the only person not to disappear.
My friend came over to my house. He asked where my girlfriend was, and I told him she is in the garden.
He said, "That's weird, I didn't see her." I said, "You have to dig a little."
When my mom asks, "If your friend pays you to jump off a bridge, would you do it?" I say, "No, Mom... I'd do it for free!"
Prince, I love you very much! Happy anniversary! Love you! ❤️❤️😘
I will be back, I'm gonna get milk...
Me:...
Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana.
Jack got high and grabbed Jill's thigh and said, "I know you wanna!"
Jill said yes, lifted up her dress, and then they had some fun,
But stupid Jill forgot the pill and now they have a son.
Bully: I can't understand you because I don't speak ugly language.
Me: And I don't speak idiot language.
Your breasts remind me of Mount Rushmore – my face should be among them.
A married woman asked her husband if he saw the future. The husband answered her, "I have no eye, dear."
Are you a ghost train? Because I am going to scream when I ride you.
You can say he is not your type until you realize your type is not typing.
I was digging a hole in the garden when I found some gold coins.
I was about to run and tell my wife when I remembered why I was digging a hole in the garden...
I was raised as an only child, which I think was hard for my brother.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Not your dad.