Relationship jokes
My mom is bad and my dad is bad.
Bro, I saw two dudes kissing LOL, but not regular kissing.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Not your parents.
"Jesus can turn water into wine, but I can turn your mother into mine."
- Sun Tzu, *The Art of Creating War*
A boy in nursery asked a girl out. She ran away crying in fear, so he just went back to teaching.
Roses are red, violets are blue,
I have a traitor friend, and that is YOU.
Girl, you are so ugly that when you look in the mirror, it shatters, more than your relationship.
What’s the difference between a hooker and a cat?
I haven’t banged a hooker.
"Suck me off, daddy, I'm doing homework."
Bully: I can't understand you because I don't speak ugly language.
Me: And I don't speak idiot language.
I was an orphan as a kid, but I have never had a bitch, so I asked this cheerleader to homecoming, and she said, "Mofo, you are only coming to hoco because you need a home to go to!"
My wife is pregnant, but when we get to the doctors, something happened...
What happened?
Answer: The husband is pregnant too, with someone else’s baby, not the wife’s baby, but the wife is pregnant with his baby.
When you know you have a gay friend, but you find out that they like you!
Can't be bothered with jokes, me and Syd Drake f**k 24/7.
What do women and screen doors have in common? The more you bang them, the looser they get.
I went to visit my childhood home. I asked the owners if I could come in for some nostalgic memories. They said no and slammed the door on me. My parents are so mean.
If an orphan takes a family photo, it’s called a selfie.
Your breasts remind me of Mount Rushmore – my face should be among them.
A married woman asked her husband if he saw the future. The husband answered her, "I have no eye, dear."
Are you a ghost train? Because I am going to scream when I ride you.