Relationship jokes

Roses are red, violets are blue,

I have a traitor friend, and that is YOU.

What do women and screen doors have in common? The more you bang them, the looser they get.

Blossom: Why are we dating the Rowdyruffs when we're technically siblings?

Bubbles:...

Buttercup: I don't know, but those people over there are lookin' at us weird.

Alabama: 😈

Roses are red, violets are blue, I'll be a jaeger, will you be my kaiju?

Woman: A woman’s life is harder, there is menstruation, periods, birth...

Man: Men have to deal with women.

What does Buzz Lightyear and an orphan's parents have in common?

They go to infinity and beyond.

Parent: My parents never attended my birthdays.

Birthday girl: Oh wow!

Parent: Anyone missing?

Birthday girl: Your parents.

My mom is bad and my dad is bad.

Why is an orphan bad at tennis?

'Cause he couldn't get any love.

You're the sun in my life, now get 93 million miles away from me.

Why did the orphan become gay? Because he wanted to call someone "daddy."

We split because she would always say I never listen, or something like that.

I once was playing with my friend and Roblox girlfriend, then one day, they cheated on me. I broke up with her and unfriended him, then I saw my mom and my uncle crying!

Me be like: ;-;

Me calling the orphan kid from school: "Hello, are your parents home?"

The orphan kid: *starts sobbing* "STOP CALLING HERE!"

Why can’t orphans be married?

Because they won’t have their parents' blessings.

“My Mum told me the best time to ask my Dad for anything was during sex. Not the best advice I’d ever been given.

I burst in through the bedroom door saying, ‘Can I have a new bike?’ He was very upset. His secretary was surprisingly nice about it. I got the bike.”

Want to know how a joke becomes a dad joke? Just wait for it to leave you and never come back.

Your breasts remind me of Mount Rushmore – my face should be among them.

You can say he is not your type until you realize your type is not typing.

Somebody keeps sending me flowers with their heads cut off.

I think I'm being stalked.