Relationship jokes
"You have to do this," and my sister said, "Well, I don't care."
And I said, "Well, you care enough to respond back, oh my gosh!"
I wasn't close to my dad when he died.
Which was good, he died to a landmine.
Al Fayed’s son arrives at heaven’s gates and sees his driver.
He shouts “you stupid cunt!”
The driver says, “Watch, Boss?”
Dodi replies...:
“I said I WANT TO FUCK DI IN THE TUNNEL NOT FUCKING DIE IN THE TUNNEL!”
I asked what was her favorite type of magic. She said, "the one you make."
My friend came over to my house. He asked where my girlfriend was, and I told him she is in the garden.
He said, "That's weird, I didn't see her." I said, "You have to dig a little."
Memes
Do you know why Daddy never comes back to get the milk? Because he’s the milkman.
Me: Joe left today.
Orphan: Who's Joe?
Me: Joe mama!
My girlfriend broke up with me because she caught me eating a banana with my butt........
IMAGINE!
In 69, the 6 looks like someone facing up. The 9 looks like someone facing down.
69 looks like 2 people suck each other’s dick. That means, L7.
FUCK ME DADDY!!!!
Is it just me, or are you the prettiest person I've seen today?
Chat date for Tenya and Jordan.
There are times I miss you, that I wish I could remember where I hid your body.
What did the orphan say to his stepmom?
"I need help."
What do you tell twins that are in love with each other?
Go fuck yourselves!
When my mom asks, "If your friend pays you to jump off a bridge, would you do it?" I say, "No, Mom... I'd do it for free!"
Prince, I love you very much! Happy anniversary! Love you! ❤️❤️😘
Have you ever had a friend who masturbated many times? I had one who did a lot, but he had no imagination... when he masturbated, he imagines his hand.
A guy walks to his friend's house. His friend says, "Where is your girlfriend?" The guy says, "Meet me at the cemetery in a week."
Why are women like KFC? After you finish with the thigh and the breasts, all you have left is the greasy box to put your bone in.