Recipe jokes

I was trying to make homemade baby powder until I realized it isn't made from babies, oops wrong ingredient... smh

I was going to make alligator last night, but I noticed I only have a crockpot. 🤣

I don't get why bakers aren't wealthier. They make so much dough.

How to make emo cakes:

Milk Butter Eggs Sugar We're Going Down Swinging!

Did you hear about the new Chinese food?

It is called: “Wuhan Fried Bats”!

I was making a coffee for my boss and this was the supposed recipe:

1 egg 1 tomato diced bell peppers a bag of sugar sea salt coffee beans rusted nails.

I got fired and spent the next 20 years in prison with a dude named Papa Bear.

What's the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo?

A southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage, along with a recipe.

How does a rapper make tea?

He drops some HOT BARS into a cup.

So I was making slime, so I put glue, and a lil' pump of lotion and slime activator. Ahah, lil pump, get it?

Welcome to Arby's, where your babies become our gravy!

You telling me Julius Caesar, who has been dead for well over 50 years, made this salad?

Husband: Hey, my dear, this lunch is great. Where did you find the recipe?

Wife: In a detective novel.

How to make white ice cream red... blend a baby into it!

If Hitler had a cooking channel: Step one... Turn on the gas.

My wife went to make a cake. The recipe said, "Separate two eggs," so she put one egg in the living room.

How long does it take a baby to cook in the microwave?

I don't know. I close my eyes when I masturbate.

How do you make a dead baby float?

1 cup rootbeer 2 scoops dead baby.

Q: How do you make a 9/11 cocktail? A: Light two Manhattans on fire and then knock them over.

Did you hear that Daft Punk came out with a cook book?

It's called "One More Thyme."

I'm made with depression and extra anxiety, then a side of gay and a sprinkle of emo.