Recipe jokes

How do you make an apple turnover?

You push it down a hill.

I was trying to make homemade baby powder until I realized it isn't made from babies, oops wrong ingredient... smh

I was making vegetable soup yesterday, but the wheelchair wouldn’t fit.

Spaghetti-ashannaise

How do u make a sausage roll?

Push it down the hill.🍆

So I was making slime, so I put glue, and a lil' pump of lotion and slime activator. Ahah, lil pump, get it?

How do you make a pink Smurf?

You peel the skin off.

What does having sex with a woman and cooking an egg in a skillet have in common?

Both end with a loud annoying sound and a gooey mess to clean the shit up.

How do you make holy water?

You boil the hell out of it.

How do you make Alabama cookies?

Put them in a big bowl and beat for three hours.

What flour do you give an orphan?

Self-raising.

Why is vegetable soup hard to cook? Because you can't fit the wheelchair in!

Julius Caesar is Roman? More like romaine (salad), and to make the best salad, you stab it 23 times until the Caesar salad, romaine salad, is fresh.

I like to eat mom's spaghetti. Now try it with the NEWWWW VEGETTIIII, turn any vegetable into pasta!

Where do you learn to make ice cream? -- Sundae school.

Why is bacon called bacon and cookies called cookies if you cook bacon and bake cookies?

How do you make any salad into a caesar salad?

Stab it twenty-three times.

If Hitler had a cooking channel: Step one... Turn on the gas.

How do you make a fruit punch?

You give it a pair of boxing gloves.

My friend surprised me for my birthday with a book called ‘Road-Kill Recipes’. I did find some roadkill the other day, so I cooked it according to one recipe and it was delicious. I’m just not sure what I should do with the bicycle.