You telling me Julius Caesar, who has been dead for well over 50 years, made this salad?
How to make white ice cream red... blend a baby into it!
Yesterday I made food using oil--olive oil.
(I love oil!)
What is the best way to end a cookbook?
And that’s a wrap!
This is a 2 for 1 plane combo that will never exist.
But, it's like a plane pizza.
Nothing happens, but it terrorizes me.
What do dead babies and fruit have in common? Both can become smoothies with the help of a blender!
How do you make an elephant float?
One elephant, two scoops of ice cream and a lot of root beer!
Why does the pancake team in baseball always win? Because they have the best batter.
Husband: Hey, my dear, this lunch is great. Where did you find the recipe?
Wife: In a detective novel.
i was going to make alligator last night but i noticed i only have a crockpot🤣
I don't get why bakers aren't wealthier. They make so much dough.
Three sons left home, went out into the world, and each of them made a lot of money. During a reunion, they discussed the gifts they'd given to their elderly mum.
"I built a big house for our mum," said the first.
"I sent her a Mercedes, with a chauffeur," said the second.
And the third smiled and said, "I think my gift was the best. You know how much mum enjoyed reading the Bible? And you know that her eyes aren't so good anymore? Well, I sent her a remarkable cockatoo that recites the entire Bible, both old and new testaments. It took a priest twelve years to teach him. That cockatoo is the only one in the world that can do it. All mum has to do is name the chapter and verse, and the cockatoo recites it."
A few days later, mum sent out her thankyou letters. She wrote to the first son,
"The house you built is so enormous that I only live in one room. The trouble is, I have to clean the whole house."
To the second son she said, "I'm far too old to travel anymore. I stay at home most of the time, so I've hardly used the Mercedes. In any case, the driver is so rude."
To the third son she wrote "Dearest Freddie. You have the good sense to know what your mum likes. The chicken was delicious!"
My wife went to make a cake. The recipe said, "Separate two eggs," so she put one egg in the living room.
How many babies does it take to make dinner?
Three to four; there's not a lot of meat on them.
How do you make Alabama cookies?
Put them in a big bowl and beat for three hours.
Spaghetti-ashannaise
What's the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo?
A southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage, along with a recipe.
Applesauce.
What does having sex with a woman and cooking an egg in a skillet have in common?
Both end with a loud annoying sound and a gooey mess to clean the shit up.
In a bowl of golden delight, I savored each bite so bright, The potato salad, oh so fine, Left me feeling oh so divine.
The diced potatoes, oh so neat, In a dressing so cool and sweet, With onions and eggs, a treat, My taste buds did dance and greet.
The mayonnaise, a creamy dream, With mustard's zesty scheme, Together they did blend so well, My senses did take a spell.
The herbs, a fragrant delight, Added flavor with their might, Parsley and dill, a perfect pair, In this salad beyond compare.
So here's to the potato salad, A culinary work of art, That left me full and satisfied, And in my heart, a special part.
