Recipe jokes

How long does it take a baby to cook in the microwave?

I don't know. I close my eyes when I masturbate.

The person to make the first cannabinol cookbook had a wife and ate (eight) children.

I tried to make vegetable soup today, but the wheelchair didn't fit in the pot.

Did you hear that Daft Punk came out with a cook book?

It's called "One More Thyme."

Did you hear about the new Chinese food?

It is called: “Wuhan Fried Bats”!

What does having sex with a woman and cooking an egg in a skillet have in common?

Both end with a loud annoying sound and a gooey mess to clean the shit up.

How do you make holy water?

You boil the hell out of it.

What do you do with epileptic lettuce? -- You make a seizure salad.

How do you make Alabama cookies?

Put them in a big bowl and beat for three hours.

So I was making slime, so I put glue, and a lil' pump of lotion and slime activator. Ahah, lil pump, get it?

Spaghetti-ashannaise

How do you make a dead baby float?

1 cup rootbeer 2 scoops dead baby.

Julius Caesar is Roman? More like romaine (salad), and to make the best salad, you stab it 23 times until the Caesar salad, romaine salad, is fresh.

How do you make antifreeze?

You steal her blanket.

I'm made with depression and extra anxiety, then a side of gay and a sprinkle of emo.

The only person I'd have a cooking lesson with is Hitler.

How do u make a sausage roll?

Push it down the hill.🍆

If Hitler had a cooking channel: Step one... Turn on the gas.

Why is bacon called bacon and cookies called cookies if you cook bacon and bake cookies?

What the can say to the tomato?

Tomato tomato potato potato find twelve recipe for the both 👍🏾

I put on ingredient sticker read for tasting good.