Recipe jokes
What flour do you give an orphan?
Self-raising.
I like to eat mom's spaghetti. Now try it with the NEWWWW VEGETTIIII, turn any vegetable into pasta!
Note to self.
When baking for the holidays, don't Google "creampies".
Google "cream pie recipes".
Your Mom's Favorite Book, Chapter 1: How To Cook.
Where do you learn to make ice cream? -- Sundae school.
Why is bacon called bacon and cookies called cookies if you cook bacon and bake cookies?
What does having sex with a woman and cooking an egg in a skillet have in common?
Both end with a loud annoying sound and a gooey mess to clean the shit up.
How do you make any salad into a caesar salad?
Stab it twenty-three times.
How do you make holy water?
You boil the hell out of it.
My Smoothie Ingredients: - Bananas - Strawberry - The Blood of my ex - Peanut Butter
What happens when you hear about Mary Brittain beating a Thomas?
You cook spaghetti with his blood!
How do you make a fruit punch?
You give it a pair of boxing gloves.
The only person I'd have a cooking lesson with is Hitler.
My sister said I was only allowed to grate cheese, so I said to her that I’d prove her wrong.
The next day my mum asked me why my cheese was tan, and I said it was my own special recipe. My mum loved the cheese but she didn’t like it much after the funeral.
The person to make the first cannabinol cookbook had a wife and ate (eight) children.
In a bowl of golden delight, I savored each bite so bright, The potato salad, oh so fine, Left me feeling oh so divine.
The diced potatoes, oh so neat, In a dressing so cool and sweet, With onions and eggs, a treat, My taste buds did dance and greet.
The mayonnaise, a creamy dream, With mustard's zesty scheme, Together they did blend so well, My senses did take a spell.
The herbs, a fragrant delight, Added flavor with their might, Parsley and dill, a perfect pair, In this salad beyond compare.
So here's to the potato salad, A culinary work of art, That left me full and satisfied, And in my heart, a special part.
How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it!
Me in the middle of the night boiling water.
Me talking to my brother: How do you make holy water?
My brother: How?
Me: You boil the hell out of it.
Julius Caesar is Roman? More like romaine (salad), and to make the best salad, you stab it 23 times until the Caesar salad, romaine salad, is fresh.
My friend surprised me for my birthday with a book called ‘Road-Kill Recipes’. I did find some roadkill the other day, so I cooked it according to one recipe and it was delicious. I’m just not sure what I should do with the bicycle.