when ur excited to finally see ur sister, and then u realize shes wearing ur cloths
I woke up this morning thinking it was gonna be a great day. But then I realized I was still alive.
I didn’t know what a class clown was till I went to a class and realized I was a class clown in kindergarten and then I woke up from a nightmare
Living in Houston Texas and realizing that hurricanes are a annual threat my ex wife call me and ask what would be the safest route to get out of Houston to avoid a hurricane. My answer take the 610 loop dear
The moment you realize that school Kahoot! games are more competitive than the Super Bowl
A guy wins a free ticket to the Super Bowl and so he’s very excited.
However, he’s not so excited when he gets there and realizes his seat’s in the back of the stadium.
So he looks around him for a better seat, and to his surprise he finds an empty seat right next to the field.
He approaches the older guy who’s sitting in the seat next to the empty one and asks if the seat is taken.
The man replies, “No.”
The young guy is very surprised to hear this and asks, “How could someone pass up a seat like this?”
The older guy replies, “It’s my wife’s seat. We’ve been to every Super Bowl together since the day we were married but she’s passed away.”
“Oh, how sad,” the young guy says, taken aback. “I’m sorry to hear that, but couldn’t you find a friend or relative to come with you?”
“No,” the man replies, “They’re all at the funeral.”
A person went to tell a joke: Knock knock! Who’s there? I don’t remember! (I think we need to moove on to the next joke now) I just now made this one up! Then I realized it is in the cow category, so I added the moove on part! 😂
10 Fun Facts.
1. You can't wash your eyes with soap. 2. You can't count your hair. 3. You can't breathe through your nose with your tongue out. 4. You just tried number 3. 5. When you did number 3, you realized it's possible, only you look like a dog. 6. You're smiling right now because you were fooled. 7. You skipped number 5. 8. You just checked to see if there is a number 5. 9. Share this with your friends to have some fun too :-)
when you accidently choke your girlfriend to death and then realize that its your sister so who gives a f..k
When I was walking home, a couple of married guys was saying your mom is good at her job, but I realize my mom doesn't work. So I ask my mom why are these guys saying your good at your job, you don't work. My mom said yeah I got new job. So I said what do you do. My said job hand, no I mean is called a hand job
Sometimes I wish my gf was here, that way we could have some fun in my bed. Then I realize she's right across the hall. (SWEET HOME ALABAMA)!!
A NASA scientist is sitting in a bar when a Martian walks in and orders a martini. The NASA scientist quickly realizes he is dreaming and wakes up. He turns to his wife and tries to explain the dream, but she rolls over and ignores him because she is tired of listening to him. The NASA scientist begins to sob because his marriage is in shambles. lmao
When you realize you have depression, and depression realizes how stupid you were.
I ask my sister to get me a cup of fruit punch. I realized she was taking a bit so I walk to the kitchen and noticed that she spilled it on herself. I asked her how did you do that but there was no response.
I have no friends, but then I realize my true friends are anxiety and depression.
an assassin threatens a planet the planet remains calm the assassin:"do you not realize the gravity of this situation?
When you go to your friend's house to fuck her brother, but realize he's your brother from your mom's side.
Ha! It asked me to submit a joke, but then I realized I'm the joke.
Don't you hate it when you do the dishes but then you realized it wasn't the dishes.
What's the funniest thing about being ringside at a UFC fight?
When you look around and all of the spectators are wearing white gowns and fuzzy socks, and you realize you aren't at a UFC event, you're watching your fellow patients fight to the death at a psychiatric facility.
