Puns

What do you get when you cross a vampire and a snowman?

Frostbite.

What do you call a piece of tech that acts emo?

Cutting-edge Technology.

What song was played at the flatulent centenarian's birthday? Candle in the Wind!

Why do people laugh at mountains?

Because they're HILLarious!

What do you call a wild party in a bamboo forest?

Panda-monium!

Simba was walking too slow so I told him to Mufasa.

Why do mountains go to sleep a lot?

Because they are high.

As he threw the mechanical pencil toward me, I knew that if I didn't move, I would be lead into serious trouble.

I was going to walk to Verizon, but I decided to Sprint over to T-Mobile instead.

I met a really greedy oyster. It was quite shellfish.

Yesterday I made food using oil--olive oil.

(I love oil!)

Thanks for explaining the word "many" to me.

It means a lot!

How do you close a cabinet?

You closet! Hahahhyaahhahaaahhahaha!

Do you know where time is? Because it keeps flying by.

The other day I lost all my crayons.

I just wish I had a shoulder to cray on.

Why didn’t the girl like stairs?

They were always up to something.

What road goes all the way to the sky? A highway.

What Did Iran Say To Oman?

"Oh man, I ran out of ideas!"

What did the dog say to his sister when she stepped on his toe? "Hey, mitosis!"

So a guy walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a drink. The bartender says tell me a joke. So the guy says: so a guy walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a drink. The bartender says tell me a joke. So the guy says: so a guy walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a drink. The bartender says tell me a joke. So the guy says: so a guy walks into a bar and he asks the bartender for a drink. So he gives the guy a drink. So he gives the guy a drink. So he gives the guy a drink.