Puns
Why do leaves change color in the fall?
Because they want to leaf their old color.
Why do cats like to sing? They're very mewsical!
A father and son duo are sitting at a table, eating breakfast. The father looks at the child and says, "I'm hungry." The child looks at the father and replies, "Hi Hungry, I'm Son." The father calls his father and asks why he was named Hungry.
What animal lies? A lion.
How does the moon cut his hair?
Eclipse it!
Have I told you the joke about the airplane? Ah, forget it, it probably just went over your head.
"Wheel" all miss him, right?
What do you call a person that inherits a lot of money?
A millionheir.
What do you call a group of transgender women? Ex-Men.
Sand under docks is very resilient. It doesn’t give in to pier pressure.
How many wives does Santa have?
Ho Ho Ho!
What did the explorer say when he got tired?
I'm gonna take a map.
What do you call 2 octopuses that look the same? Identical!
Where does an octopus put its money? In an octo-purse!
What do you call a friend in space?
Space friend.
I always talk to my taco before I eat it.
One time it said it was having a bad day and I asked what's wrong. He said I don't want to taco 'bout it!
"Why don't you want to taco 'bout it?"
"Cause I'm nacho friend anymore."
So you know how sheets are always so tight at hotels?
Well I looked under the bed and there is a freaking room cleaner holding the sheets. All he says is "Don't ask or you shall die!"
All trucks are monster trucks if you’re afraid of trucks.
I walked into a store, and I pointed a stick to the roof and said, "This is a stick up!"
A gay couple and a lesbian couple are going to the airport, which one gets there first? The lesbian, duh, they get there "lickety-split."