Puns
The irony of metal jokes is pretty fun. But it leads to a lot of people stealing them.
One time I saw a manatee all spray painted to look like a tiger. Needless to say, the first thing I yelled was, "OH! THE HUMANATEE!"
MooMooMooMoo
What do you call a 100-year-old frog?
An old croak!
What is a panda's favorite cooking implement?
A pan-duh.
If you eat a clock, then does that mean you’ve consumed time?
Cao ni man sha bi lalla shabi.
A pun enters the room and kills ten people.
Pun in, ten dead.
What do dairy products praise? Cheeseus.
There was a Mexican magician. He was going to disappear on the count of three.
1-2-..... and he left without a trace.
I went into a dark basement with a flashlight, but then it died, but I was not scared. I was actually delighted.
What do you call a pen with no head?
DeCAPitated.
A boy is sitting in a dentist chair getting braces, and a dentist comes in and says, "Brace yourself!"
What do you call a funny family of chairs? A sitcom!
What do you call a disabled orphan?
A left over vegetables.
That was a horrible pun. You should be sent to the PUN-itentiary!
A blond and her brunette friend were chatting about their boyfriends; the brunette goes on and on about how dirty her boyfriend is with her.
To not be outdone, the blond retorts:
"That's nothing! Once we were in the kitchen, I can't believe I didn't see it coming. One minute I turned, and he just got it all on my face! It was so thick and hard! It covered my mouth, my nose, my shoulders, and eyes. It even got in my hair, and when I looked up at him, all he could say was, 'Whoops! The flower went everywhere!'"
What do you call a friendly noise? A sound wave.
What's grey and can't fly?
A parking lot.
Titanic jokes sink in. Pun intended.