Puns
My girlfriend broke up with me this morning, and we just started dating yesterday.
Now she's having a breakfast.
What did Mario say when he broke up with Princess Peach?
It's not you, it's a-me, Mario!
What do you call cows that have a sense of humor? -- Laughing stock.
The irony of metal jokes is pretty fun. But it leads to a lot of people stealing them.
One time I saw a manatee all spray painted to look like a tiger. Needless to say, the first thing I yelled was, "OH! THE HUMANATEE!"
MooMooMooMoo
What is a panda's favorite cooking implement?
A pan-duh.
If you eat a clock, then does that mean you’ve consumed time?
What do you call a 100-year-old frog?
An old croak!
Cao ni man sha bi lalla shabi.
A pun enters the room and kills ten people.
Pun in, ten dead.
What do dairy products praise? Cheeseus.
There was a Mexican magician. He was going to disappear on the count of three.
1-2-..... and he left without a trace.
I went into a dark basement with a flashlight, but then it died, but I was not scared. I was actually delighted.
What do you call a pen with no head?
DeCAPitated.
A boy is sitting in a dentist chair getting braces, and a dentist comes in and says, "Brace yourself!"
What do you call a funny family of chairs? A sitcom!
What do you call a disabled orphan?
A left over vegetables.
That was a horrible pun. You should be sent to the PUN-itentiary!
What do you call a friendly noise? A sound wave.