Puns
What's grey and can't fly?
A parking lot.
Titanic jokes sink in. Pun intended.
"I asked my friend what his height is?" He answered, "I'm sans'sational!"
A blond and her brunette friend were chatting about their boyfriends; the brunette goes on and on about how dirty her boyfriend is with her.
To not be outdone, the blond retorts:
"That's nothing! Once we were in the kitchen, I can't believe I didn't see it coming. One minute I turned, and he just got it all on my face! It was so thick and hard! It covered my mouth, my nose, my shoulders, and eyes. It even got in my hair, and when I looked up at him, all he could say was, 'Whoops! The flower went everywhere!'"
I was going to make a joke about a piece of paper.
It's just too tear-able.
If Adolf starred in the Room, his most iconic line would be “I did not Hitler! I did not!”
Do you need an ark?
Because I Noah guy!
What do we want? Plane noises!
When do we need it? Neeooooooowwwww!
What do Japanese men do when they vote?
They have an erection.
A friend was doing bird puns on me. Then I realized that toucan play at that game.
Sans: “pokes brother with ruler”
Papyrus: Sans, what are you doing?
Sans: Measuring your patience.
Papyrus: Grunts
The lunch lady gave me only one carrot. I didn't carrot all.
I drew a fist on a body, and then I drew a guy saying to him, "That dude's a knucklehead!"
Tell your teacher this: "I passed a test that took 60 minutes. It wasn't your work, it wasn't my work, it was hour work!"
What is the difference between a vacuum cleaner and a Harley Davidson?
The location of the Dirtbag.
My hips can't move, but Heineken.
What dinosaur loves music?
The velociRAPtor!
My teacher started talking about houses, then I said I don't want that informansion.
A man puts in ten jokes into a joke contest. He hopes that at least one will win. Sadly, no pun intended.
What's the city with the fastest growing population?
Ireland, cuz it's Dublin everyday!