Puns
What do we want? Plane noises!
When do we need it? Neeooooooowwwww!
A friend was doing bird puns on me. Then I realized that toucan play at that game.
Sans: “pokes brother with ruler”
Papyrus: Sans, what are you doing?
Sans: Measuring your patience.
Papyrus: Grunts
What do Japanese men do when they vote?
They have an erection.
The lunch lady gave me only one carrot. I didn't carrot all.
Tell your teacher this: "I passed a test that took 60 minutes. It wasn't your work, it wasn't my work, it was hour work!"
I drew a fist on a body, and then I drew a guy saying to him, "That dude's a knucklehead!"
What is the difference between a vacuum cleaner and a Harley Davidson?
The location of the Dirtbag.
What dinosaur loves music?
The velociRAPtor!
My hips can't move, but Heineken.
My teacher started talking about houses, then I said I don't want that informansion.
A man puts in ten jokes into a joke contest. He hopes that at least one will win. Sadly, no pun intended.
What's the city with the fastest growing population?
Ireland, cuz it's Dublin everyday!
Why didn't anyone care about the circus?
Because it was irr-elephant.
A dog walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."
I tried a pun about water, but people "sea" right through it, and when people complain, they are usually just being a beach.
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If I look after chickens, does that make me a chicken tender?
So there was this girl and her horse would not stop following her, so she said, "Stop horsing around!"
Get it? "Horse-ing."
Beth was from Spain and she had a pig. What did they call her?
Beth-la-ham