Puns
What side of the sidewalk do crazy people walk on? The psych-o-path.
I was walking to the park and a mystery killer came and shot me.
The cheetah had a race with a lion, and the cheetah won.
The lion was like, "Why you always a cheetah?"
The cheetah was like, "Why you always lion (lying)?"
I went to go mine for some gold, but then I saw some shorts.
Friend: "Your jokes are too short."
Me: "Zip it, my jokes are always golden."
Friend: "You're such an ingot, don't forget your jokes are always Aurum."
Me: "I know my jokes are Aurum; it's always because I always glitz."
Friend: "At least I have luminescent" (Get it? Lu mines cent)
If museums are full of dead things... Then why aren't there any memes inside them?
How is baseball like cake?
They both need batters.
What do you call nitrogen in the day? You call it day-trogen!
What did one brick say to the other? Never LEGO.
How did Jesus like his chicken?
Crucifried.
What did the watch say to the failing watch company?
"You better watch it!"
My friend broke his tie. That's a tie breaker.
How do you fix an igloo?
With Iglue.
MooMooMooMoo
What do you call a funny rapper?
A PUN-ISHER!
What’s the most artistic fruit?
Vincent mango.
What do you call an artist with a brown finger?
Picasshole.
Did you hear about the guy who died by lethal injection and writhed on the stretcher for 20 minutes?
I guess it really IS all in the execution.
Hey, look, it's Bai! (insert the picture of a Bai drink)
I told my friend to fly a plane,
But he threw a ramp off a roof.
Why do asscheeks make great friends?
They always stick together!