Puns

What do Japanese men do when they vote?

They have an erection.

What do you call a disabled orphan?

A left over vegetables.

The lunch lady gave me only one carrot. I didn't carrot all.

What dinosaur loves music?

The velociRAPtor!

My hips can't move, but Heineken.

My teacher started talking about houses, then I said I don't want that informansion.

Tell your teacher this: "I passed a test that took 60 minutes. It wasn't your work, it wasn't my work, it was hour work!"

I drew a fist on a body, and then I drew a guy saying to him, "That dude's a knucklehead!"

A man puts in ten jokes into a joke contest. He hopes that at least one will win. Sadly, no pun intended.

If Adolf starred in the Room, his most iconic line would be “I did not Hitler! I did not!”

Why didn't anyone care about the circus?

Because it was irr-elephant.

A dog walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."

What's the city with the fastest growing population?

Ireland, cuz it's Dublin everyday!

I tried a pun about water, but people "sea" right through it, and when people complain, they are usually just being a beach.

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If I look after chickens, does that make me a chicken tender?

What is the difference between a vacuum cleaner and a Harley Davidson?

The location of the Dirtbag.

So there was this girl and her horse would not stop following her, so she said, "Stop horsing around!"

Get it? "Horse-ing."

Beth was from Spain and she had a pig. What did they call her?

Beth-la-ham

The cancer patient asked the doctor how many more months he had to live. The doctor replied, "Tu-more."