My friend says, "Time flies when having fun," so when he was gaming, I threw his clock to test that theory.
Fuck off
What Do you Call a homosexual in a Coma?
A Fruit & a Vegetable
How did Peter Parker get caught as Spider Man? Well, he weaved a really tangled web and Aunt May saw it.
lolololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololol
So on one partly cloudy night, there was a boy and his dad gazing up at the sky. Dad: aren't the stars just wonderful? I'm not sure, from my angle all I see is clouds. Dad: Well come over hear and take a look. Boy: Damm, the clouds always move when I get to the right spot!!! Dad: Well then I guess I will have too make you see them everywhere you look then.
Then the Dad shook and spun the boy around till he said... NOW I'M SEEING STARS!!!
It puts a whole new spin on meals on wheels. No pun intended.
Why are you gay. Because I said so
There was a cheerio that had a job, he worked hard at it and the boss came up and promoted him to the vice president of the cheerios. So he needed a speech, he kept practicing and practicing and know he was thirsty. it was almost time for his speech. so he went to the drinking fountain but there was a huge line. So he went to the lake but he saw tons of garbage, and what he thought was a cereal killer. so he found this bowl of punch, but he relised... there was no punch-line
A police officer said to a belly button you're under abreast
Why did the chef flip a pancake? Because he was a tosser
I Need to go to the hospital cause im getting shot by a PUN
I asked my friend if they wanted to hear a joke about sodium, and they said Na.
what do you play fallout 4 with low health? you fallout
Did you know that ASL is a dead language? Yeah, nobody speaks it.
Do the French people smoke weed or oui’d?
like if your gay dislike if you are lez
9 people walked into Bunnings Warehouse. 2 people bought plants. 3 people bought shovels. 1 person yelled. 3 people left Bunnings Warehouse. 1 person was me. I guess those three people are fired 💁♀️🤦♀️
The vampire was kept awake all night because of his wife's coughin' (coffin...coughin'...get it?)
have you ever heard of Jane Doe? well, her husband's name is Dill, so I guess that makes him a dildo!!!
