Puns
Why did people bully the burning circuit?
It was too short.
My cat is red and brown and her bones are crunchy, so does that mean she is a Kit Kat?
Why do cemeteries have fences around them? People are dying to get in.
Like if you're gay.
Dislike if you are lez.
What did the Indian boy say to his mother as he left for school? -- "Mumbai!"
Have you ever heard of Jane Doe? Well, her husband's name is Dill, so I guess that makes him a dildo!
Happiness.
A doctor tells a woman she can no longer touch anything alcoholic. So, she gets a divorce.
My teacher: Time can't count.
Me: Every second counts.
My teacher: Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooohhhhhh!
A homey thing is a house, and a sticky thing is a stick.
Where do mathematicians go to die?
The symmetry.
I tried writing with a dull pencil the other day, but there was no point.
Bad Hitler puns are infuhrerating.
"Fish, why you no fly?"
"I don't like being caught naked."
Robin: "The car's not working."
Batman: "Did you check the battery?"
Robin: "What's a tery?"
Mooning is very astrological!
Why does Trump build a wall?
There’s such a thing as a ladder.
My girlfriend broke up with me this morning, and we just started dating yesterday.
Now she's having a breakfast.
What did Mario say when he broke up with Princess Peach?
It's not you, it's a-me, Mario!
What do you call cows that have a sense of humor? -- Laughing stock.