Puns
It's the Olympics.
Q) Why did the man decide not to run in his race? A) Because of Olympiad.
9 people walked into Bunnings Warehouse.
2 people bought plants.
3 people bought shovels.
1 person yelled.
3 people left Bunnings Warehouse.
1 person was me. I guess those three people are fired! 💁♀️🤦♀️
Can I tell you a cat joke?
Yes, 'cause it's purr-fect.
When do astronauts eat lunch? At launch time.
Which freedom fighter do we say "good morning" every day?
Answer: Subah Chandra Bose.
"Subah" means morning.
What kind of star would go to jail?
A shooting star!
Random person: "What's one thing your ex gave you that you can't get rid of?"
Man: *Shows a picture of his child.*
The vampire was kept awake all night because of his wife's coughin' (coffin...coughin'...get it?)
Runescape is the only form of birth control that is 100% effective.
What did the rainbow say to the other rainbow?
Nothing, it was feeling blue.
Why do athletes cool down fast? Because they have fans.
Wash your hands.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Olive.
Olive who?
I love you!
I'm listening to a song about fish--it's very catchy.
I fell into a water bed with super soil. Next thing I'm in a flower bed.
How did the skeleton know it was gonna rain?
If you said he felt it in his bones, you're wrong. He watched the weather forecast.
What did the window say to the door?
"What are you squeaking about? I'm the one with the panes!"
Get it?
John Cabot was the first to explore the Coast of Labrador. After he left, he realized that he had forgotten something and had to go back to get whatever it was. This made him the first Labrador Retriever.
TheOdd1sOut is odd to meet.
"Time"? More like waiting.
I heard the man who invented Autocorrect died; may he rest in peace.