Puns
My friend and I joined a french fry eating contest, but I just couldn't ketchup. So we switched to cheeseburgers, but I still couldn't mustard up the speed to lettuce win. I mayo not have thought this through.
So we switched to fruits, but when it got to the watermelons, I started to feel a little green. My friend couldn't seed the point of us continuing anymore. I just couldn't digest the stress, I guess! :D
I am going to scream, this is a cry for help.
I have a friend named Mole.
She plays a game called "sandbox" to dig up dirt...
There were 32 cows. Twenty-eight chickens. How many were there?
There were 32 cows. Twenty ate chickens. How many were there?
What's a turtle's favorite thrill ride?
Shell shock!
People who torture others for making bad puns should be severely punished.
I was watching T-Series and I thought to myself, "Man, this sucks!" My sister watches James Charles, and he always says, "That's T-Series." So is it him? SUB TO PEWDIEPIE! UNSUB TO T-SERIES! THEY SUCK!
Suck my ass, guys!
What do you call a duck with no head?
Your mom gay.
A calendar asked the doctor how many time he's got left. The doctor replied: "'Til December."
What did the chocolate dentist say to the other chocolate dentist? Did you "chip" a tooth?
What do you call a pile of cats? A MEOW-tain.
A pair of souls were floating up to heaven when they passed a pair of eagles.
"Ah, eagles," said the souls. The eagles were too polite to say anything.
I always talk to my taco before I eat it.
One time it said it was having a bad day and I asked what's wrong. He said I don't want to taco 'bout it!
I rolled over a log and underneath was a tiny little stick, and I was like, "That log had a child!"
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the other side.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
The chicken.
I was talking to my old friend. They said, "We should hang out more!"
I said, "You mean we should ketchup?"
I impaled my son with a pitchfork...
He looks very sharp.
Puns, that's how I roll.
What do you call chill legumes?
Hippeas.