Puns

Someone asked me, "How would you like your steak cooked?"

I said, "On a stove!"

I did a ton of work today, a skele-ton.

Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance?

Because he was sans and too lazy to get his butt off the couch.

What do you call a black hole?

Butt hole.

My friend had no school because of heavy snow.

Guess you could say it was a snow school day!

What do you call a person that inherits a lot of money?

A millionheir.

My friend and I joined a french fry eating contest, but I just couldn't ketchup. So we switched to cheeseburgers, but I still couldn't mustard up the speed to lettuce win. I mayo not have thought this through.

So we switched to fruits, but when it got to the watermelons, I started to feel a little green. My friend couldn't seed the point of us continuing anymore. I just couldn't digest the stress, I guess! :D

I have a friend named Mole.

She plays a game called "sandbox" to dig up dirt...

There were 32 cows. Twenty-eight chickens. How many were there?

There were 32 cows. Twenty ate chickens. How many were there?

I am going to scream, this is a cry for help.

What do you call a pile of cats? A MEOW-tain.

What did the chocolate dentist say to the other chocolate dentist? Did you "chip" a tooth?

A calendar asked the doctor how many time he's got left. The doctor replied: "'Til December."

What's a turtle's favorite thrill ride?

Shell shock!

I was watching T-Series and I thought to myself, "Man, this sucks!" My sister watches James Charles, and he always says, "That's T-Series." So is it him? SUB TO PEWDIEPIE! UNSUB TO T-SERIES! THEY SUCK!

What do you call a duck with no head?

Your mom gay.

People who torture others for making bad puns should be severely punished.

A pair of souls were floating up to heaven when they passed a pair of eagles.

"Ah, eagles," said the souls. The eagles were too polite to say anything.

I rolled over a log and underneath was a tiny little stick, and I was like, "That log had a child!"

I always talk to my taco before I eat it.

One time it said it was having a bad day and I asked what's wrong. He said I don't want to taco 'bout it!