Puns
My friend and I were playing Poker... And my friend also beat me with Jackass.
My sister beat me in a race. She gave me a raspberry. I was bitter.
Impossible? I’m very possible, really!
My sister said, "LET'S GO TO PIZZA!" So, I went to the pizza shop with her and she replied, "We really only needed the car?"
Get confused with Confucius!
I can tell you a pun about a pencil, oh! Never mind, it’s pointless.
How do cows say "oof?"
They say, "MOOf."
I wish everyone spoke to each other the way God did.
Knock knock. Who's there? Hal. Hal who? Hal will you know if you don't open the door?
Why do planets circle the sun?
'Cause they like the game of ring-around-the-rosy.
Why are the jokes fat? Because you made it.
I left my dog at home once, and when I came home it was a mess. Let's just say I was in a RUFF situation.
Why did the bike fall over?
Because it was two tired!
Runescape is the only form of birth control that is 100% effective.
What did the people who cracked the Liberty Bell get for breaking it?
The no-bell prize.
What do an acting role and playing sports have in common?
If you break a leg, you get cast.
What do you call a bear with no ears? A b.
Yeah, that joke was unbearable.
You cat to be kitten me right meow!
What did Harry Houdini say when he did his famous vanishing act at a sushi place?
"Now sashimi, now you don't!"
Did you hear about the mad who got his whole left side cut off? He's all right now.