Puns
I rolled over a log and underneath was a tiny little stick, and I was like, "That log had a child!"
I was talking to my old friend. They said, "We should hang out more!"
I said, "You mean we should ketchup?"
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the other side.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
The chicken.
I impaled my son with a pitchfork...
He looks very sharp.
Puns, that's how I roll.
I can tell you a pun about a pencil, oh! Never mind, it’s pointless.
Get confused with Confucius!
Knock knock. Who's there? Hal. Hal who? Hal will you know if you don't open the door?
I wish everyone spoke to each other the way God did.
My friend and I were playing Poker... And my friend also beat me with Jackass.
What do you call chill legumes?
Hippeas.
My sister beat me in a race. She gave me a raspberry. I was bitter.
Impossible? I’m very possible, really!
My sister said, "LET'S GO TO PIZZA!" So, I went to the pizza shop with her and she replied, "We really only needed the car?"
How do cows say "oof?"
They say, "MOOf."
I used to work at a candlestick factory, but only on the wickends! It was illuminating!
Which brand of underwear does Thor wear?
Asgard.
Did you hear about the needle and thread shop?
Never mind, it was needle-ess.
Why did the bike fall over?
Because it was two tired!
What did the people who cracked the Liberty Bell get for breaking it?
The no-bell prize.