Puns
Patient: Doctor, I feel like a needle.
Doctor: I see your point!
What did the beer can say to the other? "Open me, please!"
What did the coconut say to the other? "Crack!"
Why did the jalapeño cross the road? I got spicy!
Why did the hubcap cross the road? Crack!
Why jazz, Jr. Get to the other side of the creek? Don’t break a leg!
What did the tornado cross the road? Let’s spin again!
Why did the turkey get to the other side of the creek? Don’t break a leg!
What did the bunny get to the side of the road? Get furry!
Why do cows wear bells?
Because their horns don’t work.
Friend 1: I HATE YOU!
Friend 2: *cries* b-but i-i didn't s-say that!!
Friend 3: *writes on paper with pencil cuz is so bored*
Me: *points at pencil lead* NOW NOW NOW THIS HAS *LEAD* TO SOME SERIOUS FRIENDSHIP LOSS! Plz shut up.
All my friends: *groan at horrible pun*
How do you plan a party in outer space?
You planet.
So, apparently, Hitler's dad was quite the abusive fellow, always beating his son.
Guess that's why he's called (Hit)ler.
What country do French Fries come from? Grease.
What's harder than steel? Joe Biden at a playground.
You big gay.
One day there was a guy who robbed a bank. A customer at the bank while it happened got the police. Who was that? The police said......
It’s a wood hulem.
Why did the car fall asleep?
Because he was too tired.
What's the difference between you and Hitler? At least he knows how to use an oven.
Who was the knight on the Round Table that only ate meat?
Sir Loin.
Murder: Wanna play a game?
Me: Ok (pulls out Xbox controller)
Riddles not jokes.
What has 4 legs but cannot walk?
What has bark but no bite?
There's a one-story house in which everything is orange. Orange walls, orange doors, orange furniture. What color are the stairs?
What has holes but can carry water?
What is in front of you, but cannot be seen?
What is something you have inside you that is pink, but cannot be seen?
What can you catch but not throw?
And last one:
What can rule, but not command?
Tell me the answers in the comments.
Like 90% of this was from this link: https://parade.com/947956/parade/riddles/
One more thing: Don't google it or search it up, use your brain to answer these.
How do you stop a bull from charging? Cancel its credit card.
What do you call a Jamaican proctologist?
Pokémon!
What do people say when they're fighting?
"Water!"
What do Japanese men do when they vote?
They have an erection.
Not all cat puns are purr-fect; some just have their claws.