Puns
I impaled my son with a pitchfork...
He looks very sharp.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the other side.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
The chicken.
I was talking to my old friend. They said, "We should hang out more!"
I said, "You mean we should ketchup?"
Puns, that's how I roll.
My friend and I were playing Poker... And my friend also beat me with Jackass.
My sister said, "LET'S GO TO PIZZA!" So, I went to the pizza shop with her and she replied, "We really only needed the car?"
Impossible? I’m very possible, really!
Knock knock. Who's there? Hal. Hal who? Hal will you know if you don't open the door?
I wish everyone spoke to each other the way God did.
I can tell you a pun about a pencil, oh! Never mind, it’s pointless.
Get confused with Confucius!
How do cows say "oof?"
They say, "MOOf."
What do you call chill legumes?
Hippeas.
My sister beat me in a race. She gave me a raspberry. I was bitter.
Why are the jokes fat? Because you made it.
Why do planets circle the sun?
'Cause they like the game of ring-around-the-rosy.
Runescape is the only form of birth control that is 100% effective.
Did you hear about the mad who got his whole left side cut off? He's all right now.
What did Harry Houdini say when he did his famous vanishing act at a sushi place?
"Now sashimi, now you don't!"
What do an acting role and playing sports have in common?
If you break a leg, you get cast.