Puns
I wanted to visit my pet fish, but it was hard to sea it through the darkness.
A guy saw a person with a duck and said, "Where did you get a pig?"
The owner replied, "It's not a pig, dummy!"
The random guy said, "I wasn't talking to you, I was talking to the duck."
Your mum!
When a person asked to see her balance at a bank, they pushed him over.
Your face.
Once I had a cat. The cat liked human beverages.
One day I decided to throw a party. The cat went over to get some soda. There was a line. I told him that he needed to wait in line. The line was too long for the cat. Then he walked to the punch bowl. He saw that there was no punch line. Very much like this joke.
I can't handle these puns...
But I can HAND you some puns!
Budum tiss!
What's yellow, slimy, and smells like bananas?
Monkey puke.
I fell into a water bed with super soil. Next thing I'm in a flower bed.
There's at least 856 pages of these newest puns. I couldn't finish, because it took me an hour just to get that far. Just saying, that's a lot of jokes!
Knock, knock. Who's there? Dishes. Dishes who? Dishes a very bad joke!
I'm a teacher at a high school, but I got fired. They told me I didn't do any work even though I always did a skele-ton.
What did the whale say?
Nothing!
It just wailed.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Control freak.
Con...
Ok, now you say, "Control freak who?"
I worked at a calendar factory, but I got the sack for taking a few days off!
What did Onett and Threed reply to their child?
"I love you Twoson."
What does a volcano say when it has a runny nose?
"I have runny volcanoes."
Why do asscheeks make great friends?
They always stick together!
Y'all heard of Poptarts, eh?
Well why are there no Momtarts?
Because of the PASTRYarchy!
JOKES
1. my life 2. pat as a cat.