Once I had a cat. The cat liked human beverages.
One day I decided to throw a party. The cat went over to get some soda. There was a line. I told him that he needed to wait in line. The line was too long for the cat. Then he walked to the punch bowl. He saw that there was no punch line. Very much like this joke.
I can't handle these puns...
But I can HAND you some puns!
Budum tiss!
What does a volcano say when it has a runny nose?
"I have runny volcanoes."
I fell into a water bed with super soil. Next thing I'm in a flower bed.
There's at least 856 pages of these newest puns. I couldn't finish, because it took me an hour just to get that far. Just saying, that's a lot of jokes!
What's yellow, slimy, and smells like bananas?
Monkey puke.
Why do asscheeks make great friends?
They always stick together!
Y'all heard of Poptarts, eh?
Well why are there no Momtarts?
Because of the PASTRYarchy!
I'm a teacher at a high school, but I got fired. They told me I didn't do any work even though I always did a skele-ton.
What did Onett and Threed reply to their child?
"I love you Twoson."
Knock, knock. Who's there? Dishes. Dishes who? Dishes a very bad joke!
What did the whale say?
Nothing!
It just wailed.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Control freak.
Con...
Ok, now you say, "Control freak who?"
I worked at a calendar factory, but I got the sack for taking a few days off!
JOKES
1. my life 2. pat as a cat.
What did the mommy tomato tell the little tomato?
You better ketchup!
Which freedom fighter do we say "good morning" every day?
Answer: Subah Chandra Bose.
"Subah" means morning.
No, you!
When my dog starts to bark, he starts to get ruff.
What were Brian Cant's last words before he died?
"I used to do it, but now I cant!"
