Puns
Did you know that whenever I read my blood donor ID?
Because it says "B Positive!"
Hey updog!
What's updog?
(Laughter)
My water was leaking, so I used Flex Tape. Now I don't know where to shower.
My existence.
I wanted to visit my pet fish, but it was hard to sea it through the darkness.
A guy saw a person with a duck and said, "Where did you get a pig?"
The owner replied, "It's not a pig, dummy!"
The random guy said, "I wasn't talking to you, I was talking to the duck."
Your face.
When a person asked to see her balance at a bank, they pushed him over.
Your mum!
Once I had a cat. The cat liked human beverages.
One day I decided to throw a party. The cat went over to get some soda. There was a line. I told him that he needed to wait in line. The line was too long for the cat. Then he walked to the punch bowl. He saw that there was no punch line. Very much like this joke.
I can't handle these puns...
But I can HAND you some puns!
Budum tiss!
I fell into a water bed with super soil. Next thing I'm in a flower bed.
What's yellow, slimy, and smells like bananas?
Monkey puke.
There's at least 856 pages of these newest puns. I couldn't finish, because it took me an hour just to get that far. Just saying, that's a lot of jokes!
What did the whale say?
Nothing!
It just wailed.
Knock, knock. Who's there? Dishes. Dishes who? Dishes a very bad joke!
I'm a teacher at a high school, but I got fired. They told me I didn't do any work even though I always did a skele-ton.
What did Onett and Threed reply to their child?
"I love you Twoson."
Why do asscheeks make great friends?
They always stick together!
What does a volcano say when it has a runny nose?
"I have runny volcanoes."