A skeleton had a job interview, but he looked messy.
I had to fix his collarbone.
Puns
Tell someone to say "alpha" and then "kenny one". Tell them to say it very fast. Tell them it sounded like they said, "I'll fuck anyone!"
I like whiteboards.
They're quite re-markable.
Did you hear about the guy who made knock-knock jokes? He won the Nobel Prize.
Roses are red, violets are violet.
A man walks into a bar and says, "Ouch!"
Where do Eagles send their children to study?
The Alpha birds.
Why did the car fall asleep?
Because he was too tired.
What will Donald Trump build in our devices?
A firewall.
What was the epileptic chef’s house special?
Seizure salad.
French fries don't come from France; they come from Greece.
Why didn't the toilet paper cross the road? It got stuck in a crack.
Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance?
Because he was sans and too lazy to get his butt off the couch.
I did a ton of work today, a skele-ton.
Someone asked me, "How would you like your steak cooked?"
I said, "On a stove!"
What do you call a black hole?
Butt hole.
What do you call a person that inherits a lot of money?
A millionheir.
My friend had no school because of heavy snow.
Guess you could say it was a snow school day!
My friend and I joined a french fry eating contest, but I just couldn't ketchup. So we switched to cheeseburgers, but I still couldn't mustard up the speed to lettuce win. I mayo not have thought this through.
So we switched to fruits, but when it got to the watermelons, I started to feel a little green. My friend couldn't seed the point of us continuing anymore. I just couldn't digest the stress, I guess! :D
I am going to scream, this is a cry for help.
