Puns
You know why I have so low IQ? It's because the left side of my brain gets nothing right, and the right side of my brain has nothing left.
Why did the first fence hate the other fence?
The second fence used some of-fensive language.
What do you get when you mix alcohol and literature? -- Tequila Mockingbird.
What is the longest word in the English Dictionary? "Smiles," because there is a mile between the first letter and the last.
Son: "Dad, are we pyromaniacs?"
Dad: "Yes, we arson."
What do you call a fruit's penis?
A percock.
Who are voting for this election? I'm voting for Tricity, so vote for Tricity. Electricity!
Fun fact: Toasters were originally called tanning breads!
What's a similarity between a cliff hanger and nooses?
They both leave you hanging.
I'm a teacher at a high school, but I got fired. They told me I didn't do any work even though I always did a skele-ton.
Succcccc.
Hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi.
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Did you hear about the man who backed into a meat grinder?
I guess you could say... he was a little behind on his work.
Ur mum geiy 69 dinner 42 es dee get rekt kid 360 quikskope biatch!
I went scuba diving last year. It was fun, but at the end, I ran out of oxygen.
It was a breathtaking experience.
Sometimes, stairs get me down.
Did you hear the one about the hills?
It was hillarious.
Bill was on a hill. What a hillbilly!
A midget walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender says no.
The midget asks why. The bartender says, "You're a little drunk!"