Puns

I went to the shops yesterday. I bought roast chicken, eggs, and duck. The cashier read $45.99. It was an egg-cellent price!

A police officer said to a belly button, "You're under a-vest."

"Are you related to Yoda?"

"Because yo-delicious!"

Did you hear about the book about gravity? I couldn’t put it down.

Do you want a book about gravity? I couldn’t put it down!

How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two ;)

Why don't bulls play archery? They might hit a bulls-eye.

Did you know that ASL is a dead language?

Yeah, nobody speaks it.

What’s a sheep’s favorite song?

"Baby Don’t Herd Me."

What do you call a dog with no legs?

It doesn't matter, he won't come anyway.

How did I escape from Iraq, Iran?

You are about to hear the funniest joke ever.

My life.

Breaking News! A plane crashes into a bridge.

"If all of these structures break we will all die."

And I said, "Hey, that is not supportive!"

And he said, "It would be breaking news."

weixian

What do jokesters eat for breakfast? Pun-cakes.

How did I kill Georgee?

I snatched her boat! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!!!

I don't have luck with other angels.

So I just WING IT!

What is it called when a cow sings? A lawsuit.

What do you call a skeleton with no arms? An un-armed skeleton.