Puns
What is the chair's favorite person?
A sit-izen.
Why did that fish cross the road?
Just for the halibut (hell of it)!
Two scientists walk into a bar. One says, "I want h20." The other said, "I want h20, too." The second scientist died.
Sauron said, "Eye see all."
I have a friend that sells backpacks for a living. You can draw on them using markers of different color variants.
He one day said his business was "remarkable."
Two kids were sitting at a restaurant. One said, "Could I please have some water? I am feeling a little HORSE." The other said, "Animal Puns? TOUCAN play at that game."
What do you call a chicken that catches ghosts? A poultrygeist.
I was walking by a prison when I saw a midget in an orange jumpsuit climbing down the fence. When he hit the ground and sneered at me, I said, “Well, that’s a little condescending.”
My Butterfingers slipped.
If a tree had a mouth, wood it bark?
I was really rooting to tell that one.
Why doesn't Kermit the frog get married?
He doesn't like commitment.
I don’t like stairs. They are always up to something.
After all the mudslides in the area, the streets became a mudder out there.
Does anyone know Wakanda movie is Black Panther?
Someone asked me if I was a good sleeper. I told them I'm so good that I can do it with my eyes closed.
If you were on the Titanic and you didn't leave the ship, what would you do? Just let that sink in.
I had the best butterfingers yesterday.
I dropped it.
I was about to get a brain transplant, but then I changed my mind.
Why did the man yell at the other? To tell a pun.
What is Bill Gates’ favorite equation?
1 + 1 =