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Puns

Puns

I learned that a strangler was targeting me.

All I could think was, "You’ve got to be choking me!"

I had an animal pun contest today. He started off by saying something. I don’t remember.

Then I replied, “TOUCAN play that game.” He went silent, and my other friend barged in and said, “Don’t you think he’s CHICKENing out?” I said, “Yeah, just stop HORSING around!” He came back with one, and I ended it by saying, “Ok, let’s MOOOOOve on cow.”

Welp, that’s it.

A man walks into a bar and sees a piece of steak on the ceiling.

The cashier says, "If you can grab it, your meal's free!"

The man then said, "Nah, the stakes are too high."

Why did that fish cross the road?

Just for the halibut (hell of it)!

Two scientists walk into a bar. One says, "I want h20." The other said, "I want h20, too." The second scientist died.

I have a friend that sells backpacks for a living. You can draw on them using markers of different color variants.

He one day said his business was "remarkable."

Two kids were sitting at a restaurant. One said, "Could I please have some water? I am feeling a little HORSE." The other said, "Animal Puns? TOUCAN play at that game."

I was walking by a prison when I saw a midget in an orange jumpsuit climbing down the fence. When he hit the ground and sneered at me, I said, “Well, that’s a little condescending.”

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    • Someone asked me if I was a good sleeper. I told them I'm so good that I can do it with my eyes closed.

    If you were on the Titanic and you didn't leave the ship, what would you do? Just let that sink in.

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