Puns
Iβm working on a good pun, but it makes no one laugh.
Why?
I donβt have a clue.
What happens when a frog parks illegally?
It gets toad.
I recently saw a pun contest in NYC. The owners said there was a maximum of 10 puns that I could submit. I wrote 10 puns and submitted all of them in hopes that at least one would win--however, no pun in ten did.
What were Brian Cant's last words before he died?
"I used to do it, but now I cant!"
My dad was a roof cleaner and I'm dedicating this to him, so dad, if you're up there!
What did one needle say to the other?
"You be looking sharp!"
The other day I lost all my crayons.
I just wish I had a shoulder to cray on.
What do you tell a dead metal fan?
Rust in peace.
TheOdd1sOut is odd to meet.
Is it okay to say "nice to meat you" to a vegan?
What did the mommy tomato tell the little tomato?
You better ketchup!
What do people say when they're fighting?
"Water!"
When you mix a wizard, a rabbit, and a songwriter together, you get 24 carrot magic.
Having sex in an elevator is wrong on so many levels.
That camping trip was in-tents.
My boyfriend just broke up with me for talking about video games too much. What a stupid thing to Fallout 4.
Did you hear about the needle and thread shop?
Never mind, it was needle-ess.
Why do seagulls fly over the sea and not the bay?
Because then they would be called bagels! πππππππππππππ
Friend 1: I HATE YOU!
Friend 2: *cries* b-but i-i didn't s-say that!!
Friend 3: *writes on paper with pencil cuz is so bored*
Me: *points at pencil lead* NOW NOW NOW THIS HAS *LEAD* TO SOME SERIOUS FRIENDSHIP LOSS! Plz shut up.
All my friends: *groan at horrible pun*
They say nothing is impossible, but I've been doing nothing all day.