I recently saw a pun contest in NYC. The owners said there was a maximum of 10 puns that I could submit. I wrote 10 puns and submitted all of them in hopes that at least one would win--however, no pun in ten did.
Puns
What were Brian Cant's last words before he died?
"I used to do it, but now I cant!"
My dad was a roof cleaner and I'm dedicating this to him, so dad, if you're up there!
What did one needle say to the other?
"You be looking sharp!"
The other day I lost all my crayons.
I just wish I had a shoulder to cray on.
What do you tell a dead metal fan?
Rust in peace.
TheOdd1sOut is odd to meet.
Is it okay to say "nice to meat you" to a vegan?
What did the mommy tomato tell the little tomato?
You better ketchup!
What do people say when they're fighting?
"Water!"
When you mix a wizard, a rabbit, and a songwriter together, you get 24 carrot magic.
Having sex in an elevator is wrong on so many levels.
That camping trip was in-tents.
My boyfriend just broke up with me for talking about video games too much. What a stupid thing to Fallout 4.
Did you hear about the needle and thread shop?
Never mind, it was needle-ess.
Why do seagulls fly over the sea and not the bay?
Because then they would be called bagels! 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
Friend 1: I HATE YOU!
Friend 2: *cries* b-but i-i didn't s-say that!!
Friend 3: *writes on paper with pencil cuz is so bored*
Me: *points at pencil lead* NOW NOW NOW THIS HAS *LEAD* TO SOME SERIOUS FRIENDSHIP LOSS! Plz shut up.
All my friends: *groan at horrible pun*
They say nothing is impossible, but I've been doing nothing all day.
Dr. Dre caught his friend Snoop Dogg looking in other people's drawers. Dre then said, "Don't Snoop around."
Have you heard the gossip about the butter? Oh, I guess I better not spread it.
