what's the difference between me and an old man no one pulled my life support
A proud new dad sits down with his own father.
His father says, "Son,you now have a child of your own, so I think it's time I gave you this." And so, he pulls out a book: 1001 Dad Jokes.
The young man says, "Dad, I'm honored," as tears well up in his eyes.
His father says, "Hi, Honoured, I'm Dad."
there was this down syndrome boy that always wanted to be a cop and he did he pulled someone over and said " know why i pulled you over?" the guy replied " because i was speeding? " he said " no because your black
I walk on on my mum and she's in the middle of pulling off my dad's boxers. I said mum, you really spoil those dogs!
A police officer pulls a man over. "Hands in the air!" The man said, "okay."
A 9 year old year girl lies on a hospital bed struggling to breath as she waits for the doctor to come. The doctor finally comes and the little girl can breathe much easier after he pulls his cock out of her mouth
What does a deaf person and an orphan have in common?they both can’t hear their parents
Why can’t an orphan go to family dollar?they don’t have a family
Don’t mess with an emo because if their friends pull up u gotta fight the suicide squad
What do you call a reverse exorsism. It's where a demon pulls a priest out of a child
A man walks into a bar with his pet octopus and proudly claims the animal can play any musical instrument. The bartender pulls out a guitar from behind the bar and gives it to the octopus, which plays an amazing solo. Just then a scotsman walks into the bar with a set of bagpipes. The octopus grabs the instrument and wrestles around with it on the ground, flailing about making a horrible sound. The bartender says "Hey, looks like he can't play that!", and the octopus says, "Play it? As soon as I get it's pajamas off, I'm gonna fuck it!"
What if some kid was like, "I'm going to shoot up the school!", and then someone just pulls up with a reverse card?
a little girl and a little boy are taking a bath together when the little girl looks down and asks " whats that" the little boy says that's my little red race car. 10 minutes later the boy looks down and ask's whats that,the little girl says "that's my little red race car garage. so later that night the boy ask's the little girl if he can put his little red race car in her little red race car garage, She say yes and they pull down there pants and the boy try's putting his little red race car in her garage but it won't fit down stairs the mother hears an ear piercing scream and runs up stairs flips on the lights and see's blood on the floor the mother ask's "what happened the little girl say's "we tried putting his car in my garage and it wouldn't fit so i cut the back wheels off"
A policeman found a dead body of a man on the street, he thought he recognized the body and the 2 friends he usually hung out with so he called in one of the friends. The friend looked into the dead body's face and said, "yep that's definitely Joe," but then to be absolutely sure he turned the body over, pulled down the back of his pants and said, "oh no wait that's not Joe. the policeman called in the 2nd friend, the 2nd friend looked into the dead body's face and said, "yep that's definitely Joe," but then to be absolutely sure he turned the body over, pulled down the back of his pants and said, "oh no wait that's not Joe. Confused the policeman asked, "how is it that when you look into his face you're sure he is your friend, but when you look at his ass you're sure he is not?" The 1st friend said, "well you see Joe has 2 assholes." "Are you serious? the policeman asked. "Oh yes," he replied, "we've never actually seen them but when the 3 of us hang out together people point and say, hey there's Joe with those 2 assholes."
Dark humor leave if sensitive: Wives are like grenades pull the ring and the house is gone.
Lady: will you fuck me?
Man: no, I don’t have a penis.
Lady pulls down mans pants and looks in them. Yes you do! She says
Man: oh, I forgot it was there.
You know whats the worst about having a daughter with cancer? You can't pull her hair when you hit it from the back
If your bored pull a technoblade bully orphans.
What are they Roman do tell their parents?
How to give a good hand job?
Bop it Pull it Twist it Harder Better Faster Stronger You put your left hand in You put your left hand out You put your left hand in and shake it all about
None of you ever touch my penis
He died because of a fuck up by the Hospital, apparently the doctor said to the nurse you can discharge Mr Hawking now, so she went to his room and pulled the plug out of his computer.
Brian was shopping at a mall. He hopped onto an escalator. Next to him were two people having an argument. Eventually, one of them pulled out a pocket knife threatening to stab the other. Brian murmured "well that escalated quickly..."
A cop pulls two Arabian men over, walks up to their window and says "We are looking for two child molesters". Now after a short pause the two men look at each other,then back at the officer and say "we'll do it!"
