Tug jokes
I brought my cousin to an arcade and I gave her $5 to go play a game, but she tugged my joystick too hard.
The mother and her daughter went to the store. After they arrived, the daughter looked around and ran off somewhere. The mother realized this and took off looking for her. After a while, she found her tugging on a black man. The mother asked, "What are you doing?" and the daughter replied, "I wan't the chocolate!"
Q: What happens when a pig plays tug-of-war?
A: Pulled pork.
What gets hard when tugged and fits perfectly in between boobs... A seatbelt.
One Easter Sunday, a man goes to church and returns home with two black eyes.
His wife inquires as to how he got the black eyes.
The man goes on to say, “a lady stood up in front of me during mass, I saw her dress was stuck in her butt crack, so I reached out and tugged it out. She whirled around, became furious, and punched me in the eye.”
“That explains one black eye,” the wife says, “but what about the other?” The man explains, “I figured she must have liked her dress stuck up in her butt crack, so when she turned around I stuffed it back up there.”
You look at it. You tug on it like a shoe string. You play with it like elastic bubble plastic, but it still never grows.
What is a fun game for an emo kid?
Tug-o-war with a tree.
What do you call two guys fighting over a slut?
Tug of whore.
Glory 🕳 equals 👨 👨 👨 👨 👨 bonding.
What do five dicks sticking out of glory holes and five udders both have in common? They are ready for milking.
Tits are like Lego bricks. They're there for the kid, but dad ends up playing with them.
Jack and Jill went up the hill so Jack could lick Jill’s candy, but Jack had a shock with a mouth full of cock cause Jill’s real name was Randy.
With a tight cheeked fanny and shlong expandy, Jack’s face turned uncanny. Off he ranny to tell granny his best friend was a tranny.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to have a little fun.
Jack got mad and kicked Jill in the ass because she couldn't make him cum.