A wife is like a grenade. Pull the ring and the house is gone.
your foreheads so big that it has its own gravitational pull
A thief walks up to a man in a suit and pulls out a gun. The Thief says: "Give me your money." The man in the suit turns around surprised. He raises his hands and says: "But, wait! You can't do that, I am a Congressman!" The thief replies: "Oh, sorry. Give me MY money."
what do a school shooter and a person with gum have in common. ones the pull it out everyone wants to be there friend.
my friend nearly drowned in her bowl of muesli the other day she was pulled in by a strong "currant"
What’s the difference between a microwave and a 10 year old girl? The microwave doesn’t fart out blood and diarrhoea when you pull your meat out
What do you do if a woman is choking? Pull out a few inches
Yo forehead so large it has its own gravitational pull
A man is sitting in a chair. He is talking to the other freind about what they must cherish. One says he cherishes his family the other cherishes his parents and a man comes in points at the chair’s and says “I CHAIRish my Chair” as he pulls up a chair.
An orphan was running down the road.. a car pulled up and said "get in" so the orphan got in and said "where we going?" the kidnapper said "i'm taking you to my house" he orphan replied "OML YOUR ADOPTING ME!?"
What does a refrigerator and a gay male have in common?? Only one farts when you pull the meat out. 🌝🌝🌝
what do gum and guns have in comman when you pull one out every one wants to be your friend all of a sodden
I go into get a prostate exam, I'm nervous but the doctor says its all natural and needs to be done.
So he pulls down my pants and sticks one finger up my ass. I feel it go deeper inside , feeling for abnormalities.
That's when I realize his hands are on my shoulders.
What's the difference between a blonde and a refrigerator? Refrigerators don't que*f when you pull your meat out.
A man walks to the window and opens it and pulls out his phone and takes a photo. "One more picture and I'll jump." He takes another photo and shuts the window. "I can't jump, you're not supposed to throw trash out the window."
I got a handjob from a blind woman the other day. She said, "It's the biggest thing I ever had in my hand." I said, "No love, you're just pulling my leg."
what's the cool thing about bringing a pack of gum or a shotgun to school.
when you pull one out everybody wants to be your friend. :)
A cop pulls over an old man. The cop walks up to the old man and says, "Do you know why I pulled you over?" The old man said, "no"
I gave my friends some buttons To bad he couldn’t pull himself together.
I was talking to this absolutely gorgeous woman, and I asked her, “what do you do?” And she said, “I’m a brain surgeon.” And I don’t know if this makes me sexist or not, but I was really impressed. Most women can’t pull off sarcasm
