Acceptance jokes

You can't be a loser if you have nothing to lose.

The depressed kid getting bullied.

The bully: "You are useless."

The depressed kid: "I know."

I saw a beautiful homeless girl and asked if I could take her out on a date. She politely accepted and enjoyed herself. Soon after, I asked if I could take her home, she smiled and nodded her head. Her smile disappeared when she saw me running away with her cardboard box.

I recently learned that it's politically incorrect to talk about taking part in a school shooting.

Apparently the term "school photos" is more acceptable.

The lines on the pride flag look pretty straight to me!

Yo mom's so old, she was happily accepted into the museum.

My friend wasn't open to the idea of me becoming a nudist.

I told him to stop being so clothes-minded.

Straight people ask why gays have such a good fashion sense.

They have to come out of the closet sometime.

Yo mama so ugly that Mr. Rogers doesn’t wanna be her neighbor.

People: The Titanic is unsinkable!

Iceberg: Challenge accepted.

I didn’t like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.

What kind of tea is hard to swallow?

Reali-tea.

Heterosexual sodomy is like religion. If you were forced to accept it when you were younger, you probably would not like it when you become an adult.

Which branch of the military accepts toddlers? The infantry.

What’s the hardest thing about being a rapist? Fitting in.

What's the hardest part about being a paedophile?

Trying to fit in.

What is the hardest part about being a pedophile? Fitting in.

Why do orphans like to play GTA?

Because it's the only time they are wanted.

When I ask my dad if I got adopted, he said, "Not yet, no one wants you."

I'm at my happiest point in life. I'm dating someone that's autistic, and I was just saying I needed someone special in my life.