Pregnancy

Pregnancy jokes

Fetus

    • What’s the difference between a fetus and a jar of pickles?

    The pickles aren’t as tasty in a jar.

  • 1

    • Wife

    • Wife: I will leave you if you call me fat again.

    Husband: Wait, dear... Don’t do it for the sake of our kid!

    Wife: Kid?

    Husband: Yeah, aren’t you pregnant?

    Tree

    • Mia: I'm pregnant again, Paul. I can't wait for you to come home.

    Paul: I got a tree to hit on the way.

  • 1

    • Condom

    • Hondo's dad and mum went up the hill to do it in the water.

    Jack slipped, his condom ripped, and now they have a Hondo.

    Mom

    • Your mom is so weak, when she jumped from the Twin Towers, her baby became disabled.

  • 1

    • Woman

    • A woman having labor suddenly shouted, “Shouldn’t! Wouldn’t! Couldn’t! Didn’t! Can’t!”

    “Don’t worry,” said Doc to the worried husband.

    “Those are just contractions.”

  • 1

    • Jack and Jill

    • In Boston we say,

    "Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana. Jack got high, unzipped his fly and said ‘Hey Jill, you wanna?’ Jill said yes, unzipped her dress, and then they had a ‘daughta’" 🤣

  • 4

    • Mama

    • Yo mama's so dumb, she waited until the stop sign turned blue.

    Yo mama's so fat, when she got pregnant, she fell to the earth's core.

  • 2

    • Sister

    • Kid 1: "Hey, I bet you're still a virgin."

    Kid 2: "Yeah, I was a virgin until last night."

    Kid 1: "As if."

    Kid 2: "Yeah, just ask your sister."

    Kid 1: "I don't have a sister."

    Kid 2: "You will in about nine months."

  • 5