Pregnancy jokes
I regret my abortion.
I didn’t know child labor was an option.
If a pregnant emo kills herself, is that murder-suicide or just abortion?
Q. What's the difference between an abortion clinic and a nursery? A. The abortion clinic won't let you take the baby home.
My Son: "Mummy, why is my name Thomas?"
Me: "Because the night you were conceived, I had a train run on me."
What is an example of poor management? A prostitute getting pregnant.
What does a burnt pizza, cold beer, and a pregnant woman have in common?
Someone didn’t pull it out in time.
How do you get a slag from Dundee pregnant?
Spunk in the gutter and let the flies do the work...
How do you know if a Black woman is pregnant?
Stick a chicken wing up there.
My mother was suffering from menstrual pain. So I fucked her for 7 hours to ease her pain. I continued to do so for the next 6 days. Even after fucking her 51 times during her 7-day period, I fucked her 5-6 times a day for the next three months and stopped her period for 9 months! Only her son can understand and ease the pain of a mother.
If a baby dies in the womb, is it considered suicide?
Why isn't there a pregnant Barbie doll?
Ken came in another box.
What does a pregnant slave and a payless sale have in common?
Buy one, get one free.
What’s 9 inches long and makes my girlfriend scream?
One inch and put it in her. Her miscarriage.
If a pregnant lady murders someone, does the child get an assist?
Help! I got my brother pregnant.
Miscarriage jokes aren't funny, just cut it out.
What does a pregnant slave and a "pay less" sale have in common?
Buy one, get one free.
Scientists have proven that there are two things in the air that have been known to cause women to get pregnant: their legs.
What's the most embarrassing thing about locking your keys in the car outside a pregnancy care center?
Having to go inside and ask for a coat hanger.
How did Mary get pregnant with baby Jesus?
God fucked her.