Pregnancy

Pregnancy jokes

Abortion

I regret my abortion.

I didn’t know child labor was an option.

Emo

If a pregnant emo kills herself, is that murder-suicide or just abortion?

Q. What's the difference between an abortion clinic and a nursery? A. The abortion clinic won't let you take the baby home.

Gang Rape

My Son: "Mummy, why is my name Thomas?"

Me: "Because the night you were conceived, I had a train run on me."

Prostitution

What is an example of poor management? A prostitute getting pregnant.

What does a burnt pizza, cold beer, and a pregnant woman have in common?

Someone didn’t pull it out in time.

How do you get a slag from Dundee pregnant?

Spunk in the gutter and let the flies do the work...

My mother was suffering from menstrual pain. So I fucked her for 7 hours to ease her pain. I continued to do so for the next 6 days. Even after fucking her 51 times during her 7-day period, I fucked her 5-6 times a day for the next three months and stopped her period for 9 months! Only her son can understand and ease the pain of a mother.

Scientists have proven that there are two things in the air that have been known to cause women to get pregnant: their legs.

What's the most embarrassing thing about locking your keys in the car outside a pregnancy care center?

Having to go inside and ask for a coat hanger.