Pregnancy

Pregnancy jokes

Suicide

If a pregnant emo kills herself, is it murder-suicide?

Abortion

How do you flatten curves?

With an abortion.

The president of the USA is so damn stupid. His mother must have taken Tylenol while she was pregnant with him, or something.

Abortion

I regret my abortion.

I didn’t know child labor was an option.

Emo

If a pregnant emo kills herself, is that murder-suicide or just abortion?

Q. What's the difference between an abortion clinic and a nursery? A. The abortion clinic won't let you take the baby home.

Gang Rape

My Son: "Mummy, why is my name Thomas?"

Me: "Because the night you were conceived, I had a train run on me."

Prostitution

What is an example of poor management? A prostitute getting pregnant.

My mother was suffering from menstrual pain. So I fucked her for 7 hours to ease her pain. I continued to do so for the next 6 days. Even after fucking her 51 times during her 7-day period, I fucked her 5-6 times a day for the next three months and stopped her period for 9 months! Only her son can understand and ease the pain of a mother.