Pregnancy

Pregnancy jokes

Your mum is so slow, it took her nine months to make a joke.

Men play video games to let their inner child out, while women do abortions.

One way to not pick up a girl is to say, “Are you an American school because I wanna shoot kids into you?” I tried it on a girl, and she is now terrified to come near me.

How was I supposed to know she was already pregnant?

What’s the difference between a fetus and a jar of pickles?

The pickles aren’t as tasty in a jar.

Wife: I will leave you if you call me fat again.

Husband: Wait, dear... Don’t do it for the sake of our kid!

Wife: Kid?

Husband: Yeah, aren’t you pregnant?

Mia: I'm pregnant again, Paul. I can't wait for you to come home.

Paul: I got a tree to hit on the way.

Hondo's dad and mum went up the hill to do it in the water.

Jack slipped, his condom ripped, and now they have a Hondo.

Your mom is so weak, when she jumped from the Twin Towers, her baby became disabled.

How do you know when a woman is going to have a black baby?

When she takes the tampon out, all the cotton is picked.

A woman having labor suddenly shouted, “Shouldn’t! Wouldn’t! Couldn’t! Didn’t! Can’t!”

“Don’t worry,” said Doc to the worried husband.

“Those are just contractions.”